Winner not whiner

Have you ever said to yourself “I want to be a winner/successful!” or maybe you just know you are a winner/successful, or maybe you think you are the opposite…. when it comes to life.. inside you feel a loser.” Does any of this sound familiar?

Welcome!

 Thank you for dropping by.  I am Steve Alexander, HUGE WELCOME. Whether a friend, visitor or both please do leave a message and say hi – I love connecting with people.

What makes a winner/successful person?

Have you ever heard the phrase “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose it is the taking part that counts.”

Has anyone ever said that to you? what are your thoughts? Agree/Disagree?

When I was younger these words gave me comfort when I lost at things until I began to get older. I found as I grew up I became quite used to losing.

At the time, this was hard and painful, and became just an accepted way of life for me, so I guess when it came to having to compete as I grew older, I either took a step back or did not bother as it was too much like hard work, or I did not want it enough, or I thought some one else was better than me anyway even before I tried.. and I if I was honest I probably made excuses why I could not be better.

At one point I think I even laughed at my label of being a loser, because if I accepted I was a loser it was never going to bother me if others thought that of me because I knew this anyway of myself. Does any of this sound familiar in your life or maybe you know others like this.

This year I promised myself I was going to get rid of this mentality, because truthfully was I, am I a loser….actually no!

Today I found an old pay slip from 2 years back….and it made me sad..yes I was glad I was in a job but I was barely making ends meet choosing to go part time so I could spend more time raising my kids, being there for them in there younger years and supporting at home with house hold chores and as much as I was able.

In some ways this was great, but financially this was a struggle and how others manage I do not know. I was getting fed up. I had to do something to turn life around!

I once asked my father how can I be there for my family and make a decent amount of money… he replied “you cannot have both…” I wondered if this was true and I wanted to prove that not only was this possible but could be done successfully. If I was to succeed I had to learn to be a winner, think like a winner, live as if a winner.

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HAVE A WINNER/SUCCESS MENTALITY.

I had to learn what it was to have this mentality –

Lack of knowledge/experience/training: what did I know about having a winners mentality.. last time I had won anything was when I was 5 when I won my race on sports day, and once about 10 when I won a swimming race..these moments felt good, and as I looked back on the moments and those feelings I wanted those feelings again.

Suddenly I can no longer say I do not have experience as I re live those moments…. I can …. I did….I won!

Perhaps when I think hard and deep enough there are other “moments” I have achieved or felt proud but somehow these have been forgotten and i need to draw these out.

Make a start.

At some stage I am guessing you too also won at something or achieved something – you too can use those moments to make a start on your journey.

Educate yourself – train yourself – So many of us have bad experiences of education or teachers and maybe feeling a failure or a loser and perhaps you was not that person in top sets, or that person chosen to be in the team..perhaps when you think of your time in education it takes you to a time of being bullied – but you can turn this all around!

Image result for it does not matter if you win or lose its the taking part that counts

The internet now means at the touch of a button we can search for whatever we need to learn….and there are different ways you can learn from videos to websites to podcasts and now more recently the likes of amazons “Alexa” or Apples “Siri” can do the searching for free.

It is free sign
I love free things.

Cost does not have to be an issue any more or should stop you in starting as so many things are free and lots of free resources out there. Do not have your own internet? I bet many have phones..and many places in town have free WiFi or if you have a library you can use their computers or ask friends and family to use use theirs.. maybe learn something together with someone! DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!

Try these 10 steps.

  1. Ask yourself what is the problem.
  2. What is that you really want?
  3. what are you currently doing about it?
  4. what steps can you take now?
  5. Set up specific goals, you need to know where you are going. …
  6. Take responsibility for your actions. …
  7. Form a winning habit. …
  8. Don’t be afraid to fail. …
  9. Be eager to learn – re focus
  10. Be proud of yourself

Thank you for reading…please feel free to contact me follow or send me a comment/question….

If you already are successful in business or in life and would like to be a guest volunteer blogger to encourage others please get in touch.

Be a winner!

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Beat Brokenness

Welcome.

This post today is about those feelings of inner brokenness and how to over come them.

Have you ever felt broken? This does mean to suggest you are actually broken, but it sure feels like that! – “Hang in there!”

I know about brokenness! Today I broke down in tears just listening to a piece of music, have you ever done that?

There was a song I had had in my mind for over two weeks.

I am not sure where it came from or why, but there I was at work, always at work with this tune in my head.

Despite not knowing what it was I was determined to find it and listen to it.

It was almost like I had a date with destiny, and I did not want to miss out on no date.

What was so important about this particular song I had to find out.

So I began my search, and there she was..

Within literally seconds I am in floods of tears. It was like meeting a friend who was waiting for me, who had been waiting for me and here I was a gibbering mess on my knees in a ball in front of them as they put their arms around me, and just held me….

They said nothing, just held me tight, and I sobbed and they held me tighter. They wanted nothing from me.. I had nothing to give, I had nothing to give.

For so so long, years and years I had held on to so much stuff, secrets, abuse. hurts, those things which I had never shared .

I had spent so long surviving it was literally making me weaker and by not dealing with the brokenness, because no one wants to hang out with sad or depressed people, I carried more and more stuff by myself.

Not only did I carry my stuff, I carried years of other peoples brokenness too because they needed someone to be  there for them and I would never take that back, they are the most beautiful soulful people ever, and I will cherish them.It has been beautiful to see them grow and know I have been a part of their journey,

I refused to ask nothing from these folks only to believe in themselves and where they wanted to be, and to see them flourish was my goal….And how they soared and me so proud.

I found however, each time as heart warming as this was, I knew at some point they would move on or I would have to move on and this has honestly been a lonely journey. As good as a friend they may have become they could not take away what was at my core, and that was fine, I knew this was my journey.

And now I sit and listen to this song on repeat “as time stands still” and it feels like I have come to a time in my life of battle battle battle and finally scarred, bitten, broken feeling, I lift my head… and say to my myself ..”I survived.…..I survived…. but now it is time to stop just existing but to live.. and this means letting go.. not just a bit,, but all…. ALL OF IT!

In this moment, this paused moment, I do not have to be strong, I do not have to be some one else’s light, I do not have to be that father, that son, that husband, that colleague, that guru, that happy go lucky person, that annoying person, the person who fails, the person who does not measure up, that person who is never good enough…

*****Here I am in my utter rawness******

This person stands and tries to lift me up…. As I am unable to stand instead they kneel beside me

kneeling beside someone
I am with you

I look up and see who it is who is there… and it is me… only a different version, it is hard to explain, but they whisper…. “I have been waiting a long time for you, I do not believe we have met properly but I have been there, you know that right?”

I nod.

“come!” he says… “It is time!”

“Time for what? “ I ask

“you will see, this is your time…………………………………………………………….”

I get up leaving all my baggage. I do not need that for where I am going. I am now free.

I am free!

It has taken a long time to get here!

As I look around behind me, those who I have helped both dead and alive are standing together ushering me on…… and together they say…..

“This is your time… thank you for helping us, but it is now time to help yourself… and guess what, if ever you need us.. we are still here, we got your back..but go now… its time to go now………”

and it reminds me from the last scene of  one of my favourite films “Labyrinth.

“should you need us.”

Thank you everyone, and thank you for reading this!

GOURANGA! (BE HAPPY)

If you have been affected by this post or can relate and want to chat about things or need someone to listen. Please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Steven Alexander,

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

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Rent a Friend

Hi All, Welcome!

waving dog

Welcome to today’s juicy and controversial post…

One of ethics, morals,.. would you? Could you? Have you ever? would you share if you had? whether it is for an hour or a day?

would you “rent a friend?” “or “rent yourself out?”

In a sense, for those of us who work for a boss or others, I guess we do this already to an extent, but a while ago on a money making site I stumbled upon while being poor –  I read an article about people who would pay another person to hug them.

I am not really a hugging kind of guy, so it did not appeal to me, but maybe I could reconsider my phobia… but I just shrugged this off as one of those funny to read articles…..UNTIL…..

PING PING PING

An email pops up in my mail box asking if I would consider (not me personally, just a generic email ) being paid to be someones friend – “purely platonic” simply sometimes someone may need a friend to go to the movies or out to dinner or to a party… it sounds like being an escort to me… but the site goes on….

I make a coffee, because this could get interesting… I am actually thinking, I could be someones friend, I could be a good friend.. I think…and begin to imagine what my profile would read as I begin to drift through these profiles….It still screams escorting to me (not that I am against that) but… I remain intrigued… I take a few more sips, and then …

spit out coffee coffee everywhere, all over my keyboard doh…

“There are … reasons why you may want to rent a mom or a dad.  Perhaps you have parents who are not very understanding of your relationships, yet your significant other wants to meet them?  Rather than upset your real mom or dad with your new “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, hire a stand-in mom and dad to take the place and pretend they are thrilled with your new partner! Your significant other will be happy, and your parents will have no clue!”

yes this is for real!

So now I am thinking, perhaps I could rent a mom, or better still when I next play my dad is harder than your dad.. I can just rent one…..

The possibilities are beginning to be endless… I am just waiting for….

grandma2  “Rent a grandma” I reckon she would love a good roller coaster or bake the meanest cake this side of the world, or ride the coolest motorbike….with just her gums….

and yes it is true, not on the same site but here…..

rent gran one  free advertising of me….

 

 

Hire me – rent me!

I am available as a paid friend should you require one….

Live the other side of the world……No problem –  I like to write.. I could be your international pen pal, I like to travel…I am kinda funny….

I can house sit, pet sit, chaperone, offer you a coaching seesion,

Perhaps you love me or my work you would like to sponsor or donate to me to support me.. that would be awesome, as we all need to live Be a pal for life – Support a pal

Perhaps you may just want to…….rent a friend, mom, dad or grandma

 

Have a great day….

Please do follow me – FREE FREE for more comedy or thoughtful posts, check out my other blogs or leave me a comment,   I love to hear from people their thoughts or facebook me

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Steven Alexander

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

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Meet Kintsugi.

WELCOME!

one life

“Hi!”

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE.

Whether friend or visitor, it’s good to have you visit.

This blog is a diary of sorts. The diary of “Kintsugi – me”

My name Steven Alexander. I’ve always wanted to write, but never knew what to write or how to start.

Have you ever experienced being held back or didn’t dare do something out of fear? Have you missed golden opportunities that you wish you had not?

I promised myself this year, that I would overcome fears, and things that have stopped me in the past.

Discover with me, my reflections, thoughts, and experiences.

I will stand up against injustice, I will explore life and mental health, I will speak out and be a voice for others.

The aim of this blog is to encourage and enable others as well as learn new things about myself.

Through soul searching and exploring.. my inner “Kintsugi” was born.

“Kintsugi” is wild, free, soulful, has a voice, and is a voice for others.

Before I started this blog I had a vision of a clay pot shattered into pieces. This clay pot was me. No matter how much I wanted to piece the pot together it was so broken no glue was ever going to fix it, the cracks were too much.

Perhaps I was going to be broken forever!

I then got another vision of gold poured between the cracks and somehow the pot became whole again with a glint of gold.

As I shared my brokenness with a friend. I did not tell them my vision, of the gold out of fear they would laugh. My friend posted this to me:

I had to find out more

This is the start of my blog journey.

If I can do this, anyone can!

Feel free to join me, comment or get in touch.

Strangers are friends I haven’t met yet.

I’M JUST A SMALL GOLD FISH IN A BIG POND.

See you soon,

Steven Alexander<><

The Motivation and Mindset Life Coach

www.facebook.com/S.A.S.Mindsetcoaching.

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