“Your Body is Your Business”


What relationship do you have with your body?

Welcome,

I am Steven Alexander, writer, blogger, parent, healthcare support worker. Welcome to my blog!

The above question seems a strange and personal question to ask, but so many of us have huge self body issues which really affects how we feel and how we think, and affects our self esteem. This is not just females this affects it is males too, and actually, realistically non gender specific.

Do you compare yourself to other people and wish you had their looks, their physique, do they get the good comments and attention and you get…….not the same?

Truthfully, we never really know what is going on in someone elses life, and how someone else might be feeling, because even those that we may consider attractive to them… they could have just as big issues as us all!

The mirror Image

ikea mirror
mirror mirror on the wall

As I stand infront of the mirror I am one of those people who try and avoid it.

As I look, it is easy for me to find fault with myself, and hear those voices from past about what I look like, and it acts to re-inforce how I feel about my body and also myself. Isn’t it amazing how many of us remember and hold on to the negatives!

Perhaps you too, are one of those people that wish they could change so much about themselves but see it as a pipe dream, as un realistic maybe, maybe you tried those diets or many of them and they just did not work for you and now you have given up…. if this is you, I hear you, I understand.

It is your body – who cares?

If you are hating yourself or dislike yourself or worse because of how you look like and you feel like no one cares how you feel, and maybe you have given up caring I want you to know I care and if you need to talk I am here, get in touch

Why do I care? what do I know about body issues?

As some one who has had low self esteem for as long as I can remember, I know what this feels like , for me at least, the self hating, and how deep that can affect the mind and the heart. As some one with big ears, bad skin, obese, unkept teeth, skin tags… my list goes on and on.

As a self harmer, my body was the one thing in my life I felt I had control over so when I was in a bad way I would not take care of myself as maybe those in a good mental state would do as normal.

Some people might just see the outside and make comments about size or smells as yes my hygine was not as good as it should have been because I did not value myself or have self worth, but of course no one knows the inner you and may just see some one as “having issues” “acts wierd” “self obessesed” what ever coping strategies we may use to compensate what we feel inside.

But it does not have to be this way! – I say again it does not have to be this way.

IF THIS IS YOU, AND YOU CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THE ABOVE – STOP!!!!!

support available for low self esteem.

In the past I always put others first and when it came to myself it was like I did not matter.

I became tired, exhausted , used, misunderstood and as I looked after others needs more and more, my own just fell away. One day I just said to myself enough was enough and I was going to end it all one way or another.

I started on a journey of self development helping myself to be better and I began to seek help and support. I realised that by bettering myself I could help more people.

What the right support can achieve

Increase Confidence.

Gain Respect

People asking for your help.

Begin to look after yourself,

No longer listen to, or hang around toxic people.

Stress and anxiety levels drop.

Feelings of depression lowered.

Are you looking to improve your life? – Let me help!

Thank you for reading!

If you would like to share youir experiences or have been affected by this post then please get in touch. I would love to hear from you. thank you for visiting and reading please do follow my blog or check out more on facebook

or join my facebook Select Community “Soul cafe” search for Piece of Mind – Soul Cafe Steven Alexander Motivation Mindset Coach Group

About me: Please click here to find out more about me.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS AND THANKS

A special thank you to my own network and friends including soul cafe tribe,”Tribal support” “Nourish” “mastermind” “samaritan University” mencap crew, Coach Hannah Lucy Galliers, Kain Ramsey – www.achology.com,

Jon Holder – Peak Perfomance Coach (your ultimate year) http://www.jonholder.co.uk

Flavia Powell hynotherapist, life coach and Happiness Engineer http://flaviapowell.co.uk

and a special thanks to an amazing guy,.the insperation of this post, who has inspired me to be consistant and just “start”, he is all about fitness diet, mindet, business, coach to entrepeneurs, the awesome Ollie Jordan Matthews http://www.revitalizeationblueprint.com

you-are-not-insignificant

Toxic TaT! Together Against Toxic.

Welcome.

toxic
/ˈtɒksɪk/
adjective
  1. 1.
    poisonous.
    “the dumping of toxic waste”
    synonyms: poisonousvenomousvirulentnoxiousdangerousdestructiveharmfulunsafemalignantinjuriouspestilentialperniciousenvironmentally unfriendly;

Today’s topic is about the toxic “stuff” in our lives. Do you have anything toxic you want or need to get rid of.

Toxic

What does that word mean to you, if anything?

This is a subject I wanted to talk about a while back, but was something I was struggling with myself.

Reading a few other peoples blogs however, this word keeps cropping up time and time again.

As a fan of quotes, I wanted to insert, a phrase I seem to be hearing a lot:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results” – I am not sure if I agree with this!

I think there are occasions in life where if you are persistent or persevere long enough, you can get a different result – not everyone will agree.

I have been thinking a lot about life recently, and I would love to get rid of the toxic things in my life. By toxic, I mean the things that either make my life hard or that I would be better without i.e not good for me, unhealthy, distractions, harmful etc.

In order to do this, I had to write a list of the so called “toxic” things in my life.

So these were a mixture of:

Thoughts….some times I can hold on to negative things that have been said to me or about me..this makes me sad, doubt myself and feel like, (fill in your own word) I no longer want to let those things or people have power over me.

Words…sometimes I can be filled with hate, or contempt for another. My own bitterness can cause toxicity. I do not want to be like that even if I do it in self preservation or protection, it’s not who I am. My words can be cruel and can hurt because I am hurting.

A phrase I heard recently rings true for me “hurt people – hurt people”

People.. Sometimes we need to realise who the toxic people are in our lives and how best to deal with them in a way that we are not victims or that they have authority over us.

Sometimes people may not realise the affect they have on us, even when well intention-ed, and often these can be those closest to us. In their well intentions, they can still hurt thinking they know what’s best for us.

The most damaging phrase I had say to me was.. “I am saying this in love”

The word “love” itself has become toxic to me, and means things I would rather not go into. Some of you out there may be able to relate to what I’m saying.

Actions… This section is harder to write for me as it means being honest and vulnerable, but self harm is a huge thing for me. Most people may think self harm is cutting, but there is so much more to this.

Food for me is my thing, as I feel it’ s possibly the one thing I can control, so it means if I am in a bad place I will either over indulge or not eat.

Neglect of myself is another area I can often suffer from..

While depression can be a part of me I live with, I have to fight hard for it not to control me. This is a hard battle!

Some of my mindset has come from the damaging words and actions which have sunk in deep or play on repeat in my head.

Today I choose not to let ghosts of people past have that authority over me.

In essence toxic can be anything in our life which is not good for us.

I am not saying it is easy to change and sometimes we need very drastic things to happen to get us to that point.

Don’t be afraid to get help.

Maybe if you are fed up and seeking a change, perhaps now is the time!

Let’s do this toxic journey together.

Let’s make today be the start of a new life, new start, no more toxic!

Life can be sweeter! Sweet things can “grow on trees” and yes I have tasted from this tree of life, and it was good!

Peace be with you.

A tree containing lots of sweets
Money does not grow on trees but sweets do

centre parcs

If you would like to talk about anything toxic in your life, please..

do get in touch. or 

Find me on Face Book. 

Come visit again soon,

Steven Alexander

                                                         “Aim high – Aim higher”