Thought about “Friends” lately?

Welcome Friend!

What makes a good friend, great friend or the best? Do you have a good friend or best friends, the sort you can tell anything to, be yourself with and share your inner most thoughts?

How could I write todays theme without reffering to this series which was and still is huge. It is of course as the title suggests “Friends”

If for any reason you have not seen this, it is about a group of best friends and their lives together, their ups downs, togethers, apart, laughter, tears, the coffee shop, the couch, the apartments and the characters which many of us could relate to.

The question at school when I was growing up in the play ground or in class was often which friends character are you?  

I thought “Joey” was the best because “Joey does not share food” and I am not one for sharing food

.If you have never seen an episode I do fully reccomend it and I think it is the best and available here on “Amazon” or “Google” “Friends”

Good friend Great friend or The best

I wonder when you think of the word “Friend” what words pop up when you think of it……. I am guessing mostly positive and if I asked you to think of a certain good friend who has or does mean a lot you can probably picture them.. what memories come to mind?

If I look on” facebook” I wonder if that definition of “friend” would fit those say on “facebook” or other forms of social media or even people at work, do you class them as friends? would you class any family members as friends?


Strong Good, Great Best friendships?

Image result for friendship quotes, "A strong frendship doesnt need daily conversation, doesnt need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, trrue friends will never part
A definition of a good, great and best friendship

For me this sums up where I am at with good friends because I believe you are who you attract around you – and that matters.

Who do you attract in your life and add to your good friends list and why?

quote about a good friend, great friend and best friend
Levels of good friendships. “Good” “Great” “Best”

There is a saying “iron sharpens iron” we attract like minded people…friends who motivate us and just know our mindset, because these are the type that love us for who we are BUT….. are all our friends good for us? This may sound a crazy question to ask and may sound harsh but is it?


Healthy Good friendships V toxic ones

Some friends can appear “well meaning” some can appear to “share” your joy when in reality they “seethe”… some may gossip about you, and some may even hurt you because we allow them to get close and they know us inside and out – have you ever experienced that? and some “friendships” are “toxic” meaning that actually, thay may not be the healthiest or the “best for us relationships”

I wonder if different friends come into our lives for different seasons and reasons like the kind that are are so special and amazing but then dissapear!

Have you ever had any of those and you wonder where those people are now!


Grateful for Good, Great and Best friends

I think good friends really do make us and shape us, and as my mom n dad would say, choose your friends well and the company you keep wisely.

Huge thank you to all my my good friends past present and future. I honour you and thank you from the bottom of my heart BECAUSE

YOU KEEP ME GOING

You really are the greatest and Best!

Image result for friendship images
Image of good,great, best friends holding hands

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander

Do you need a friend at the moment?

Contact me and let’s chat it through together

www.stevenalexandersimmonds.com

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Winner not whiner

Have you ever said to yourself “I want to be a winner/successful!” or maybe you just know you are a winner/successful, or maybe you think you are the opposite…. when it comes to life.. inside you feel a loser.” Does any of this sound familiar?

Welcome!

 Thank you for dropping by.  I am Steve Alexander, HUGE WELCOME. Whether a friend, visitor or both please do leave a message and say hi – I love connecting with people.

What makes a winner/successful person?

Have you ever heard the phrase “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose it is the taking part that counts.”

Has anyone ever said that to you? what are your thoughts? Agree/Disagree?

When I was younger these words gave me comfort when I lost at things until I began to get older. I found as I grew up I became quite used to losing.

At the time, this was hard and painful, and became just an accepted way of life for me, so I guess when it came to having to compete as I grew older, I either took a step back or did not bother as it was too much like hard work, or I did not want it enough, or I thought some one else was better than me anyway even before I tried.. and I if I was honest I probably made excuses why I could not be better.

At one point I think I even laughed at my label of being a loser, because if I accepted I was a loser it was never going to bother me if others thought that of me because I knew this anyway of myself. Does any of this sound familiar in your life or maybe you know others like this.

This year I promised myself I was going to get rid of this mentality, because truthfully was I, am I a loser….actually no!

Today I found an old pay slip from 2 years back….and it made me sad..yes I was glad I was in a job but I was barely making ends meet choosing to go part time so I could spend more time raising my kids, being there for them in there younger years and supporting at home with house hold chores and as much as I was able.

In some ways this was great, but financially this was a struggle and how others manage I do not know. I was getting fed up. I had to do something to turn life around!

I once asked my father how can I be there for my family and make a decent amount of money… he replied “you cannot have both…” I wondered if this was true and I wanted to prove that not only was this possible but could be done successfully. If I was to succeed I had to learn to be a winner, think like a winner, live as if a winner.

Image result for winner

HAVE A WINNER/SUCCESS MENTALITY.

I had to learn what it was to have this mentality –

Lack of knowledge/experience/training: what did I know about having a winners mentality.. last time I had won anything was when I was 5 when I won my race on sports day, and once about 10 when I won a swimming race..these moments felt good, and as I looked back on the moments and those feelings I wanted those feelings again.

Suddenly I can no longer say I do not have experience as I re live those moments…. I can …. I did….I won!

Perhaps when I think hard and deep enough there are other “moments” I have achieved or felt proud but somehow these have been forgotten and i need to draw these out.

Make a start.

At some stage I am guessing you too also won at something or achieved something – you too can use those moments to make a start on your journey.

Educate yourself – train yourself – So many of us have bad experiences of education or teachers and maybe feeling a failure or a loser and perhaps you was not that person in top sets, or that person chosen to be in the team..perhaps when you think of your time in education it takes you to a time of being bullied – but you can turn this all around!

Image result for it does not matter if you win or lose its the taking part that counts

The internet now means at the touch of a button we can search for whatever we need to learn….and there are different ways you can learn from videos to websites to podcasts and now more recently the likes of amazons “Alexa” or Apples “Siri” can do the searching for free.

It is free sign
I love free things.

Cost does not have to be an issue any more or should stop you in starting as so many things are free and lots of free resources out there. Do not have your own internet? I bet many have phones..and many places in town have free WiFi or if you have a library you can use their computers or ask friends and family to use use theirs.. maybe learn something together with someone! DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!

Try these 10 steps.

  1. Ask yourself what is the problem.
  2. What is that you really want?
  3. what are you currently doing about it?
  4. what steps can you take now?
  5. Set up specific goals, you need to know where you are going. …
  6. Take responsibility for your actions. …
  7. Form a winning habit. …
  8. Don’t be afraid to fail. …
  9. Be eager to learn – re focus
  10. Be proud of yourself

Thank you for reading…please feel free to contact me follow or send me a comment/question….

If you already are successful in business or in life and would like to be a guest volunteer blogger to encourage others please get in touch.

Be a winner!

Further Help and support:

How to Book a life coaching session with me >>>>Click Here<<<<

Apply to be a guest blogger – click here.

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10 ways to deal with your fears

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

Welcome.

“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma

I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”

Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.

Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.

Do you have problems sleeping due to stress or anxiety?

One night I could  not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.

The 3 am Chat

So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”

I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat about fears for ?

Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.

  1. I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
  2. I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I  do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
  3. Coaching –  it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story”  where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – 30 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
  4. Work emails (My non coaching job) – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down.. on what is already a demanding job, I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.

Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep. 

So what did I learn?

I learned a few things. I learned:

i)       Fear is only as controlling as I let it.

ii)      Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.

iii)   As a coach, counsellor  I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.

Further research

I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.

Dr. F. Emelia Sam  3 Reasons Why Fear Is Actually a Good Thing

NHS -Ten ways to fight your fears

If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds 

Affordable Life Coaching- Support to deal with your fears

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“know your worth – you have value”

Just do it….

Metamorphosis.

Beat Brokenness

Welcome.

This post today is about those feelings of inner brokenness and how to over come them.

Have you ever felt broken? This does mean to suggest you are actually broken, but it sure feels like that! – “Hang in there!”

I know about brokenness! Today I broke down in tears just listening to a piece of music, have you ever done that?

There was a song I had had in my mind for over two weeks.

I am not sure where it came from or why, but there I was at work, always at work with this tune in my head.

Despite not knowing what it was I was determined to find it and listen to it.

It was almost like I had a date with destiny, and I did not want to miss out on no date.

What was so important about this particular song I had to find out.

So I began my search, and there she was..

Within literally seconds I am in floods of tears. It was like meeting a friend who was waiting for me, who had been waiting for me and here I was a gibbering mess on my knees in a ball in front of them as they put their arms around me, and just held me….

They said nothing, just held me tight, and I sobbed and they held me tighter. They wanted nothing from me.. I had nothing to give, I had nothing to give.

For so so long, years and years I had held on to so much stuff, secrets, abuse. hurts, those things which I had never shared .

I had spent so long surviving it was literally making me weaker and by not dealing with the brokenness, because no one wants to hang out with sad or depressed people, I carried more and more stuff by myself.

Not only did I carry my stuff, I carried years of other peoples brokenness too because they needed someone to be  there for them and I would never take that back, they are the most beautiful soulful people ever, and I will cherish them.It has been beautiful to see them grow and know I have been a part of their journey,

I refused to ask nothing from these folks only to believe in themselves and where they wanted to be, and to see them flourish was my goal….And how they soared and me so proud.

I found however, each time as heart warming as this was, I knew at some point they would move on or I would have to move on and this has honestly been a lonely journey. As good as a friend they may have become they could not take away what was at my core, and that was fine, I knew this was my journey.

And now I sit and listen to this song on repeat “as time stands still” and it feels like I have come to a time in my life of battle battle battle and finally scarred, bitten, broken feeling, I lift my head… and say to my myself ..”I survived.…..I survived…. but now it is time to stop just existing but to live.. and this means letting go.. not just a bit,, but all…. ALL OF IT!

In this moment, this paused moment, I do not have to be strong, I do not have to be some one else’s light, I do not have to be that father, that son, that husband, that colleague, that guru, that happy go lucky person, that annoying person, the person who fails, the person who does not measure up, that person who is never good enough…

*****Here I am in my utter rawness******

This person stands and tries to lift me up…. As I am unable to stand instead they kneel beside me

kneeling beside someone
I am with you

I look up and see who it is who is there… and it is me… only a different version, it is hard to explain, but they whisper…. “I have been waiting a long time for you, I do not believe we have met properly but I have been there, you know that right?”

I nod.

“come!” he says… “It is time!”

“Time for what? “ I ask

“you will see, this is your time…………………………………………………………….”

I get up leaving all my baggage. I do not need that for where I am going. I am now free.

I am free!

It has taken a long time to get here!

As I look around behind me, those who I have helped both dead and alive are standing together ushering me on…… and together they say…..

“This is your time… thank you for helping us, but it is now time to help yourself… and guess what, if ever you need us.. we are still here, we got your back..but go now… its time to go now………”

and it reminds me from the last scene of  one of my favourite films “Labyrinth.

“should you need us.”

Thank you everyone, and thank you for reading this!

GOURANGA! (BE HAPPY)

If you have been affected by this post or can relate and want to chat about things or need someone to listen. Please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Steven Alexander,

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

 

# Book an affordable life coaching session with me   <<<<<<< help you     “To let go” “break free” #Invest in you.

Overcome Insignificance.

many ways to welcome
A good welcome is like the best hug ever!

Hi and welcome to this blog today.

Question: Do you ever have  feelings of insignificance? how does it affect you and how do you combat this?

How do you “add value” to relationships or situations?

Are you searching for happiness?

Today I will be exploring these issues.

I write as often as I can but sometimes life just overwhelms me.

I cannot explain how or why it does, I just know its’ affects, and it can be really disabling. Sometimes the most simple things become really hard, and it is like I get a block and I can’t move on.

if tired stops/rest
time to pull over and rest

Some friends recently suggested I “stop” and “rest” but then I feel like I am doing nothing as it is, when actually if I look back over my day It has probably been far from nothing.

I am suffering a lot with insignificance at the moment, and I wish I could shake it!

I belong to a few groups on line and a video popped up of one it’s members talking about how members can add “value” to the group rather than just “take” from it.

A lot of the business and marketing videos and books  I am watching and reading is also talking about this theme of “adding value.” It is like I cannot escape from it.

A sense of irony.

I have been chatting to some one I know recently who is selling a house… I am in need of buying a house. I make inquiries and express an interest of sorts, as I wonder is this the right house for me as you would do. If you are investing in something you want to know it is something you want or can work with right!

The conversations over the next few days become strange. This person is then telling me in one breath how it would be a great house for me, and then not, as I cannot afford it, I should consider renting, there is a flat available this person knows or when they move out the place they are in. The reality is this person wants to get the highest value for their house, understandably so and knows I will want to offer a lower than market offer as others have done, only I am not it in it to flip or make profit, I just need a “home”

We chat about what I am currently getting for my money (see again value) and how if I want anything decent I have to pay a lot of money for it but I would have to give up things such as “WiFi” in order to afford what I want. As some one who spends a lot of time on line whether its supporting someone or research or earning money or writing, and is indeed a way of life, WiFi is not a luxury item ,I see it as a necessity valuing it more than food and drink itself – I digress.

Just because I am savvy does not mean I cannot afford things, and this person has no idea of my finances but makes presumptions anyway and begins to tell me what I need to do. I then think what value is this conversation bringing to me or is it having the opposite effect?

Just recently this phrase “what you need to do” has become quite the bug bear for me. I am sure it may come from a well meaning place, but does that person really know my needs.. have they asked me? I am more than happy to have a dialogue about this if they care that much about my needs. I am a rational guy, I can listen to wisdom……..

As a reflective person, I think to myself do I say similar things to others without realising?

Does what I say hurt others and would they tell me if it did? I hope they would and especially with friends as we are all on journeys and we don’t get stuff right. Am I adding value to this friendship?

Often in friendships, friends encourage us to be honest and truthful and be open as good relationships should be, but yet I find even this approach offends, so I learn to back off and distance and then I cannot offend.  Perhaps this is counter productive, I do not know. I then begin to think what kind of friend am I actually and this makes me sad. I had to research what makes a good friend. 

a true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face
friends are better than gold

ARE-YOU-A-GOOD-FRIEND?

How to Be a Good Friend
  1. Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong. …
  2. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy. …
  3. Go the extra mile when they ask for help. …
  4. Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours. …
  5. Make them feel wanted. …
  6. Tell them, “I’ve always got your back,” at least once (and mean it.)

There is much more of course but now I think I fail at being a friend too sometimes!

 

If you do not know something.. do not be afraid to ask and research (seek and you will find)

I realise if I feel I can add value to life or to relationships then maybe I will no longer feel inadequate,perhaps if I can think less of what I am going through and think more of them, but then sometimes I am that busy trying to make others happy I never find time for myself.

If you relate to what I am saying then check out this link. how to add value to relationships

That will bring a page of suggestions up, but I look at the how to make yourself better page which suggests 6 things to try.

  1. Better ourselves.
  2. Help our partner (friends) become better.
  3. Do something to build trust.
  4. Do something to build investment.
  5. Do something to make our partner (friends) happy.
  6. Conquer an obstacle

As I looked more on this particular site, I found a page about happiness and seeking happiness.. I wondered if this too had any nugget of wisdom to add to my post of value and inadequacy and of course it did.

If like me you  are on a search of happiness which seems to be my life mission, and I have not found the secret yet… my eyes were drawn to this one sentence.

How-to-be-happy.

“until I can learn to be happy right now…until I can be totally content and pleased with who I am right NOW, what I have NOW, the people I have in my life NOW, and the financial situation I am experiencing NOW, I will NEVER be truly happy.”

Check it out here

There is always something I want but do not have. Sometimes I never truly appreciate what I have.

This week I am having a “gratitude week” being thankful for all of those in my life, who have added value to me and I hope I have added something to theirs.

Thank you for stopping by.

If you would like to chat about any of the things I have bought up today, that maybe you  are going through too.. please do not hesitate to get in touch.

or Get me on facebook

HAVE A GOOD DAY FOLKS – ABUNDANT BLESSINGS THIS DAY.

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

Book a life coaching session

Rent a Friend

Hi All, Welcome!

waving dog

Welcome to today’s juicy and controversial post…

One of ethics, morals,.. would you? Could you? Have you ever? would you share if you had? whether it is for an hour or a day?

would you “rent a friend?” “or “rent yourself out?”

In a sense, for those of us who work for a boss or others, I guess we do this already to an extent, but a while ago on a money making site I stumbled upon while being poor –  I read an article about people who would pay another person to hug them.

I am not really a hugging kind of guy, so it did not appeal to me, but maybe I could reconsider my phobia… but I just shrugged this off as one of those funny to read articles…..UNTIL…..

PING PING PING

An email pops up in my mail box asking if I would consider (not me personally, just a generic email ) being paid to be someones friend – “purely platonic” simply sometimes someone may need a friend to go to the movies or out to dinner or to a party… it sounds like being an escort to me… but the site goes on….

I make a coffee, because this could get interesting… I am actually thinking, I could be someones friend, I could be a good friend.. I think…and begin to imagine what my profile would read as I begin to drift through these profiles….It still screams escorting to me (not that I am against that) but… I remain intrigued… I take a few more sips, and then …

spit out coffee coffee everywhere, all over my keyboard doh…

“There are … reasons why you may want to rent a mom or a dad.  Perhaps you have parents who are not very understanding of your relationships, yet your significant other wants to meet them?  Rather than upset your real mom or dad with your new “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, hire a stand-in mom and dad to take the place and pretend they are thrilled with your new partner! Your significant other will be happy, and your parents will have no clue!”

yes this is for real!

So now I am thinking, perhaps I could rent a mom, or better still when I next play my dad is harder than your dad.. I can just rent one…..

The possibilities are beginning to be endless… I am just waiting for….

grandma2  “Rent a grandma” I reckon she would love a good roller coaster or bake the meanest cake this side of the world, or ride the coolest motorbike….with just her gums….

and yes it is true, not on the same site but here…..

rent gran one  free advertising of me….

 

 

Hire me – rent me!

I am available as a paid friend should you require one….

Live the other side of the world……No problem –  I like to write.. I could be your international pen pal, I like to travel…I am kinda funny….

I can house sit, pet sit, chaperone, offer you a coaching seesion,

Perhaps you love me or my work you would like to sponsor or donate to me to support me.. that would be awesome, as we all need to live Be a pal for life – Support a pal

Perhaps you may just want to…….rent a friend, mom, dad or grandma

 

Have a great day….

Please do follow me – FREE FREE for more comedy or thoughtful posts, check out my other blogs or leave me a comment,   I love to hear from people their thoughts or facebook me

propic (2)

Steven Alexander

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

GDPR Policy

 

Toxic TaT! Together Against Toxic.

Welcome.

toxic
/ˈtɒksɪk/
adjective
  1. 1.
    poisonous.
    “the dumping of toxic waste”
    synonyms: poisonousvenomousvirulentnoxiousdangerousdestructiveharmfulunsafemalignantinjuriouspestilentialperniciousenvironmentally unfriendly;

Today’s topic is about the toxic “stuff” in our lives. Do you have anything toxic you want or need to get rid of.

Toxic

What does that word mean to you, if anything?

This is a subject I wanted to talk about a while back, but was something I was struggling with myself.

Reading a few other peoples blogs however, this word keeps cropping up time and time again.

As a fan of quotes, I wanted to insert, a phrase I seem to be hearing a lot:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results” – I am not sure if I agree with this!

I think there are occasions in life where if you are persistent or persevere long enough, you can get a different result – not everyone will agree.

I have been thinking a lot about life recently, and I would love to get rid of the toxic things in my life. By toxic, I mean the things that either make my life hard or that I would be better without i.e not good for me, unhealthy, distractions, harmful etc.

In order to do this, I had to write a list of the so called “toxic” things in my life.

So these were a mixture of:

Thoughts….some times I can hold on to negative things that have been said to me or about me..this makes me sad, doubt myself and feel like, (fill in your own word) I no longer want to let those things or people have power over me.

Words…sometimes I can be filled with hate, or contempt for another. My own bitterness can cause toxicity. I do not want to be like that even if I do it in self preservation or protection, it’s not who I am. My words can be cruel and can hurt because I am hurting.

A phrase I heard recently rings true for me “hurt people – hurt people”

People.. Sometimes we need to realise who the toxic people are in our lives and how best to deal with them in a way that we are not victims or that they have authority over us.

Sometimes people may not realise the affect they have on us, even when well intention-ed, and often these can be those closest to us. In their well intentions, they can still hurt thinking they know what’s best for us.

The most damaging phrase I had say to me was.. “I am saying this in love”

The word “love” itself has become toxic to me, and means things I would rather not go into. Some of you out there may be able to relate to what I’m saying.

Actions… This section is harder to write for me as it means being honest and vulnerable, but self harm is a huge thing for me. Most people may think self harm is cutting, but there is so much more to this.

Food for me is my thing, as I feel it’ s possibly the one thing I can control, so it means if I am in a bad place I will either over indulge or not eat.

Neglect of myself is another area I can often suffer from..

While depression can be a part of me I live with, I have to fight hard for it not to control me. This is a hard battle!

Some of my mindset has come from the damaging words and actions which have sunk in deep or play on repeat in my head.

Today I choose not to let ghosts of people past have that authority over me.

In essence toxic can be anything in our life which is not good for us.

I am not saying it is easy to change and sometimes we need very drastic things to happen to get us to that point.

Don’t be afraid to get help.

Maybe if you are fed up and seeking a change, perhaps now is the time!

Let’s do this toxic journey together.

Let’s make today be the start of a new life, new start, no more toxic!

Life can be sweeter! Sweet things can “grow on trees” and yes I have tasted from this tree of life, and it was good!

Peace be with you.

A tree containing lots of sweets
Money does not grow on trees but sweets do

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Come visit again soon,

Steven Alexander

                                                         “Aim high – Aim higher”

 

10 little life survival tips

Welcome,

This is my life.. A little higgledly piggldy not steady and likely to topple.

 

Sometimes in life it feels like there’s something missing.. have you ever felt that?

A bit of wind or uncertainty and that tower  I built is falling over and let’s face it, it won’t take long before someone cannot resist to push it over but unstable just calls for someone to…in my experience take advantage or cause damage and topple.

There was a time I was a builder, I built with brick sand and mortar, lay foundations, and as a child I built with Lego, one piece at a time step by step instructions or with hours of focus frustration and care. It seems these days it’s more soft play cubes or Ikea flat packs and I know which I prefer.

I STEP BACK and take a look at my creation, it’s missing some solidity some stability, stick ability but yet a small sense of achievement shines from my face, and you know what, if it topples I will START AGAIN and maybe I will build differently and something new will appear it really is not the end of the world.

What is the true test of character  –  when folk do try and topple and shake you either by accident or deliberately. Wow, ouch this can be hard! Is this fun?- no, but what this teaches me is resilience in the face of adversity and a strength from within to want to prove to those folk I am not beaten.

what specific and valuable thing can I learn?

Attitude can make a difference-how to deal with people who try and topple, destroy rather than build up. – This can take skills.

Character-to persevere when things happen not as I would like.

Creation-creativity doesn’t have to be perfect in the eyes of others but to have a sense of pride in myself. Why not?

STEP BY STEP– this is slightly harder for me, but will be my mantra. “Step by step”

I can do this– now this you may think what is the big deal here? Well when you have lived a “I can’t” kinda life this new thinking is a huge huge step.

And lastly.. Support structures, do I have these in place? Do I utilise them?

Do you know who these people are in your life. Have you ever asked WHO IS A TRUE FRIEND?

Look out for those who may end up surprising you

Keep in touch..

Have a blessed day y’all.

propic (2) Steven Alexander

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