Thought about “Friends” lately?

Welcome Friend!

What makes a good friend, great friend or the best? Do you have a good friend or best friends, the sort you can tell anything to, be yourself with and share your inner most thoughts?

How could I write todays theme without reffering to this series which was and still is huge. It is of course as the title suggests “Friends”

If for any reason you have not seen this, it is about a group of best friends and their lives together, their ups downs, togethers, apart, laughter, tears, the coffee shop, the couch, the apartments and the characters which many of us could relate to.

The question at school when I was growing up in the play ground or in class was often which friends character are you?  

I thought “Joey” was the best because “Joey does not share food” and I am not one for sharing food

.If you have never seen an episode I do fully reccomend it and I think it is the best and available here on “Amazon” or “Google” “Friends”

Good friend Great friend or The best

I wonder when you think of the word “Friend” what words pop up when you think of it……. I am guessing mostly positive and if I asked you to think of a certain good friend who has or does mean a lot you can probably picture them.. what memories come to mind?

If I look on” facebook” I wonder if that definition of “friend” would fit those say on “facebook” or other forms of social media or even people at work, do you class them as friends? would you class any family members as friends?


Strong Good, Great Best friendships?

Image result for friendship quotes, "A strong frendship doesnt need daily conversation, doesnt need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, trrue friends will never part
A definition of a good, great and best friendship

For me this sums up where I am at with good friends because I believe you are who you attract around you – and that matters.

Who do you attract in your life and add to your good friends list and why?

quote about a good friend, great friend and best friend
Levels of good friendships. “Good” “Great” “Best”

There is a saying “iron sharpens iron” we attract like minded people…friends who motivate us and just know our mindset, because these are the type that love us for who we are BUT….. are all our friends good for us? This may sound a crazy question to ask and may sound harsh but is it?


Healthy Good friendships V toxic ones

Some friends can appear “well meaning” some can appear to “share” your joy when in reality they “seethe”… some may gossip about you, and some may even hurt you because we allow them to get close and they know us inside and out – have you ever experienced that? and some “friendships” are “toxic” meaning that actually, thay may not be the healthiest or the “best for us relationships”

I wonder if different friends come into our lives for different seasons and reasons like the kind that are are so special and amazing but then dissapear!

Have you ever had any of those and you wonder where those people are now!


Grateful for Good, Great and Best friends

I think good friends really do make us and shape us, and as my mom n dad would say, choose your friends well and the company you keep wisely.

Huge thank you to all my my good friends past present and future. I honour you and thank you from the bottom of my heart BECAUSE

YOU KEEP ME GOING

You really are the greatest and Best!

Image result for friendship images
Image of good,great, best friends holding hands

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander

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“Jump on in”

Welcome,

Thank you for visiting,

Many years ago I stood on the roof top of a very large apartment block. I was with a friend.

It was partly to be rebellious, as for safety reasons it was not safe to be there. It was risky, dangerous.

We walked around the ledge 14 storeys high looking down, sheesh was high.

It was wild, free, we laughed.

But later we chatted through our lives as we sat on the edge. My friends dad would beat him regularly, my life was going down the pan. We were both spiraling, having given up on life and not caring about consequences.

I stood up on the ledge and looked down, my friend further away did the same. The same thought came to our minds……..to jump!

As I was about to a voice appeared to whisper to me.. “do not jump I love you”

The word “love” was a dirty word to me so not one I used. The voice whispered again… “I love you”

Tears fell from my face uncontrollably. I had not heard those words said meaningfully in many many years. I Cried.

I stepped back and pulled my friend away, and said.. “don’t jump, I love you mate…”

As crowds had gathered and sirens were roaring… We left the roof and never spoke of it again or shared it..

A Different Perspective

SO what do you think of when you hear the word “Jump?” What thoughts or emotions go through your head?

“Jump just jump”

– Imagine the scene! (or perhaps read the one below instead)

Emergency, Exit, Green, White, Direction

A parent is encouraging their child to jump into the water at the local swimming pool. The parent is there, arms open wide, their child inches away, but for some reason the child will not jump.

“I got you, I got you, you will be fine.” the parent soothes expectantly, and hopeful..

I will catch you! you will be safe!

The parent just wonders why their child does not trust them or what is stopping them.

The child looks first at the water, then to the parent, then back at the water. It sees the deep deep water, “what if I sink? what if my parent does not catch me, what if I fall?…….”

Then.. at that moment (or an eternity for the parent) the child makes the decision.. jump and face the consequences (which they know) of not jumping or jump and not know.. can they.. will they trust …is this faith to jump?

Have you ever been afraid of something, and you just do not know why? It is crazy right?

Sometimes there can be no rhyme or reason , or something you can put your finger on yet – yet there it is that “THING” again that just stops you!

Perhaps this blog is not you, and you can breathe because you can relax! You took that jump or several.. you have no issues with trust!

“Wow” – I so want to be that person, I want to be you! FEARLESS.

I did not want to write this blog today because it meant owning up to the fact that:

I have fears and insecurities – I have doubts and trust issues.

I do not want to admit that or share that with the world!

I am a man, an adult, what is that about?

I do not know how to deal with the above emotions it is hard, so hard..so when people share these things with me, I can relate, I can so relate, but I think it is ok to be scared!

I will say that again, It is ok to be scared!

Fear although can stop us, and be a self-defense mechanism to keep us safe, but being sacred is also about saying – “do you know what.. I am worried..”

And now…… we can “dialogue” – I love that word. I had to actually look up that word then, but this is what the first site said:

“To take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem”

Origin Middle English: from Old French dialoge, via Latin from Greek dialogos, from dialegesthai ‘converse with’, from dia ‘through’ + legein ‘speak’.

So now we are speaking or voicing our worries…and maybe we can get answers to these problems, by talking them through, or finding out.

I was scared about two things tonight

Firstly:

Writing this blog today because I know there are things in my life which I need to “jump” into which are huge pools for me and unknown…

The second thing was using the phone and chatting to a friend who I have known for years.

But.…what harm could come to me writing a simple blog or speaking to a friend.

It is fair to add that it also “ok” not to “jump” sometimes the pressures to jump can have the opposite effect, in my first story, life was so bad I thought about it. If yours is… If you need to vent or dialogue, get in touch or chat to someone.

If we are asked to jump, and we are not ready, this may not end well, but other times we jump with hope and, faith, or fingers crossed in some circumstances.

Some of us may even do a risk assessment before we do anything and weigh up the risks. – welcome to risk management.

Jump or not jump?

“ToDay I JumPed.”

Image result for scared to jump in pool

If you need to dialogue with somebody, or have no where to go or no one to go to, but you want help getting over your fears.

Contact me anytime:My door is always open

Image result for scared to jump in deep water

Thanks for Reading, please visit soon, or feel free to comment.

Steven Alexander,

propic (2)

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“What you spreading today?”

Welcome,

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Holmes

Here are a few stories that come to my mind of situations in life where I have tried to do this. We probably all have our own!

A young couple in Nottingham(a town i used to live, in the uk) were getting irate because they have spent all their money on drink… And are somehow trying to get into a taxi they obviously now cannot afford… They get angrier and this is about to turn real ugly. Without thinking I walk up and hand the couple ten pounds to get home. This immediately shocks them and in they are at peace and no one gets hurt.

A friend recently was crying as she hadn’t got the money to treat her kids to nice supermarket things for over Christmas.. One low wage in the household things are stretched real tight so again I offer with a friend to get her a large hamper again handing over a note.. The friend is sobbing over whelmed.

Another friend at the end of the month has no money to get lunch and about a pound left to last. Again I offer some money and another friend seeing this also offers which then encourages another to whip him up a little picnic lunch…

Whether stranger or friend, If another human being is in genuine need, I respond.

“I’m not rich, I’m a part timer on min wage with debts of my own here but sometimes there is that pull to help another human being out.”

I think the phrase “pay it forward” is a beautiful one as I believe what goes around comes around and I have to admit whether given in joy or reluctance what I receive back is more than worth it whether it’s an emotional or physical gain.

What I’ve learned also, is that generosity is addictive, it is.. It inspires it empowers it breaks down barriers it’s life saving its humbling.

 

I’d like to hope that I can be more generous but I can also learn to receive off others when I am in need. I believe generosity breeds generosity.

When strangers or friends were generous to you, how did you react and how did you feel in situations where you was the generous person?

“Generosity does not have to come in monetary form. A bit of kindness can go a long way” Alexander Simmonds2018

If you haven’t seen the film “Pay it forward I recommend it”

Is it possible to change the world for the better?

385 ways to “pay it forward” I believe so! I know so!

 Check out the video >>>>>>pay it forward

Thanks for visiting pop back soon. Please feel free to comment or share your experiences just to encourage another:)

propic (2) Steven Alexander

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