We are much more than our skin

mental health Awareness week

Ugly, spotty, zitty, gusher, dotty, dot to dot, acne face.

Sound familiar name calling names because of your skin complexion or someone elses?

is your skin complexion giving you a complexion?

Ugly, spotty, zitty, gusher, dotty, dot to dot, acne face.


Sound familiar name-calling names because of your skin complexion or someone else’s?
Many people suffer from oily skin or a, poor complexion through hormones, diet, genetics or, a variety of reasons, and not just females.


Many have been bullied, victimized, assaulted because of how they look often through no fault of their own.


This can cause low self-esteem, depression, self-hate, hate of others, suicides.
Those moments can stay with people throughout their life often causing people to grow up hating themselves.


Add this to other life’s challenges and it is no wonder so many have a low opinion of themselves.


You may have heard it said..
“Beauty is more than skin deep”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”


Do you feel beautiful when that is said?
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names never hurt me.
They hurt! And can do so for years.


Not only do we see the blemishes on the outside, we feel like a blemish on the inside!
At some point we have to tell ourselves we no longer want to hate our self but start on the journey of love.


When we begin to love ourselves, it matters less what others think.
Today I share some of my story and try out one of the blemish face masks.


Not a sales pitch just raising awareness for mental health awareness week.
Look after your mental health.


What you tell yourself matters.
You matter!


If you have been bullied and affected by it and need to talk.

Reach out.
Thank you for reading and watching.

Www.stevenalexandersimmonds.com

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Feel like you are not getting any where despite how hard you try?

Feel like you are on your own, and no one listens or cares?

If either of the above is true, then lean in, come in closer, because this page, this page right here, is just for you.

Some times in life we can lose our way. There is no shame nor judgement in that and it can take the smallest of things , not just the big things to knock us off track, so how do we get back on?

is the path you are on the right one for you?

This seems rather a personal question but what it does, is gets you to think about what that means, and how this can help you.

Who are you living for? Who are you pleasing or trying to please?

Some times we live our life trying to please others and that is amazing, it is honorable but is it YOU, and do we achieve in pleasing them and does it make you happy?

If you are happy then feel free to not read further, but if you are thinking and have more questions then please stay with me.

WE ALL HAVE OUR BREAKDOWNS AND CRY MOMENTS.

You are not on your own if you do. It is human, it is natural and it is your bodys’ self defence mechanism trying to cope with what is going on.

Our minds, our hearts can only take so much! They need space to process, to think through to strategise what is next, and how to move on.

For those of who have heard of or study “Mbraining or Multiple Brain Integration Techniques MBIT for short ) we recognise that we have multiple brains that are capable of thinking.

The most common of these are the heart, the brain and the gut, although there are more.

So to give an example…..(just an example)

You might be feeling upset – heart

You need cheering up to find balance again – Mind

Gut – chocolate is the answer

Of course there may be deeper work that may need to happen but in that moment as a short fix as a band aid/plaster

“yes, chocolate gives off chemicals that makes us feel happy” – the brain – I agree to that solution.

“yes, chocolate is my comfort food and I do feel happier and I want to feel happier” – heart

“yes let’s do it” – gut

So in this scenario we say that they are all in agreement and we call this alignment.

How does this apply to my problem

Great question!

What you are going through right now, may need a quick temporary fix to get you through but may also need some deeper work.. for example if I have a puncture, I may get a puncture repair kit which will work for so long but at some point I may need to replace the tyre.

Do you want a quick fix or do you want more extensive work?

Sometimes we get lost, stuck lose our purpose, do not have a purpose, lose our identity or lose perspective, and we need help restoring those things. Sometimes when we live for others or please others we lose ourselves.

some simple top tips

  • Acknowledge the moment – look back at where you have come from to where you are now. Ask yourself : Have you grown mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.
  • Assess – what is not working right now, do you need help, do you have the knowledge, experience, skills to move forward, if not who has?
  • Ask and receive help – maybe you have helped others and now you need to allow others to help you . This is not a time for pride, independence or ego, this is not that time.
  • re allign.. – perhaps you came off course. Time to re adjust or head on a new setting or new journey.

If this has helped or resonates, please like share comment, or if you want help, please do get in touch to see if I can help further.

Thank you for reading .

Steven Alexander

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What do you need to let go of?

Letting go, is for many, understandably hard.

When do you let go, how do you let go, is there a right time or wrong time? Lots of questions!

Quite often, we know deep inside we need to let go, maybe want to let go, but it is never just that simple, or is it?

What if it was? Would we? What is stopping us? What if I do not want to or not ready!

Let us find out more in todays session.

How do I let go if I am not ready.

When you are ready, you are ready!

The grieving process is not an overnight one. Trauma is not something that can magically dissapear, memories cannot be erased, however there is help available, but do you want it?

When you are ready, or if you want help with something you are struggling with, get in touch!

I look forward to working with you.

Speak to you soon,

As always, your Peace of Mind Coach,

Steven Alexander

Www.stevenalexandersimmonds.com

The day I got called an “Enema”

It is not every day I wake up to a text message from someone I know, and expect to be greeted with those beautiful words “you’re an enima” (their wording)

I am not sure it is the kind of message that anyone would like or appreciate, yet there it was!

I read it again slowly in case I read it wrong … but no.. there it was…

How should I respond?

REWIND, REWIND

To give you, the reader some context, which I think is fair, this is in response to a message I had sent describing myself as “an enigma” meaning, a bit of a puzzle, cannot work out, and why would I say this about myself.

Have you ever been accused of being a certain way which has been hurtful?

In your eyes, you are not the person they say you are but from their perspective, their “truth” they spit these words out which you receive like venom and makes you question am I?

The truth is, maybe they only see certain sides of you, or parts of you which you allow them to see! Maybe they get frustrated because you do not fit their mould, or their boxes so out of their own frustrations and blind spots they will lash out or even say in a more gentle manner.

sticks and stones

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME!

Some of us may be familiar with that phrase, but if not it is one many of us in the uk growing up would have heard or said at some point growing up in their child hood.

In a sense, it is really nonsensical. We know that names can be very hurtful and stay with us for many years often affecting our adult lives in many areas of our life.

Of course as children we say it as a defence mechanism , as a way of saying “I am not bothered” or ” I do not care” whether we did or did not.

As adults then, how do we, or should we deal with name calling?

I guess in truth, there are many ways. We certainly have more options with our life experience, more developed brains, and coping strategies as well as perhaps different coping mechanisms that we have learned that were not available to us as children.

Perhaps you yourself have been called names or have called others names? – no judgement!

There is a saying that “hurt people hurt people” do you agree?

If you have been affected by bullying or still are and need to talk please DO GET IN TOUCH!

wHAT IS AN eNEMA, AND WHY AM i NOT OFFENDED TO BE CALLED THAT?

For those that do not know, An enema is a procedure which is used to relieve constipation and to stimulate stool (poo) evacuation. (I will not provide images)

To quote a google search definition “the process helps push waste out of the rectum when you cannot do so on your own” (www.healthline.com) – have you ever been called a “pain in the rear” or similar?

i am a peace of mind coach

I am often asked what kind of coach are you, what is it you do?

I often refer to myself ironically as a “poo coach” People come to me when they have poo in their lives, – and I help shift it.

I am a “stool” expert – there I said it!

As a healthcare worker in my spare time, I am trained in all matter of stools, from size, consistency, to helping with flow, to helping it function properly, as it does serve a purpose!

As a coach therefore, I help people with their mental, emotional or spiritual poo helping to restore flow, rediscover purpose and offer coping and handling strategies.

offer of help

If you need a “poo coach” want to restore peace to your heart mind or soul – please do get in touch and let’s chat.

For more information:

click here to visit my website

contact me

Thank you for reading.

Please do like, follow or comment if this has resonated with you .

I also now have my own cosmetics store, so if you are feeling like “poo” and need cheering up with a nice bath soak or body creams to treat yourself, please do come and take a look and support me. click below. Thank you.

Steven Alexander’s Tropic skin care Cosmetics

New Chapters

Sometimes when we read books we can be sad that it finishes. Sometimes we are glad that it has come to an end.

Our lives however, are not books that we can pick up, put down when we like. We cannot just leave and forget about if we so choose.

Instead our lives are our living testimonies, live stories with events, circumstances and many changes.

The lead character is ourselves, sometimes the hero or heroine, or sometimes the victim. Often, however, we pick up many things inbetween that we attach to us to form our current self.

We are like the director of a film. The film is our life story – just how will it be written? How will it be perfomed? will people be interested?

Not only are we the actors and actresses, but we are also our own audience as we watch our life play out .

You are a director!

I always fancied having this title one day.. “Director” of my own business but NEWSFLASH we are the dirctors of our own business!

Need more clarity?

How often do we end up losing our selves because we have listened to lots of people. We have put other peoples voices louder than our own inner wants and needs. We like to please, because we like to make others happy. Sadly at the same time, over time made ourselves unhappy!

As the players we have been played. Others have directed what should have been our swansong, our show. Others have gained the applause from our work or taken the credit. We were left back stage at our own show, working hard behind the scenes, yet not being seen or heard. We may not have asked for the lime light nor wanted it, yet some small recognition would have been nice. Instead even this token was taken away from us.

time to make the cut

So now we sit up eager for things to change. What must be done in order to see this change? This takes thought and action not procrastination!

  • what things do we not like/want in our life – this will help us define what we do.
  • who is helping us or hindering us – gate keepers, key masters, you will find these.
  • what do I now need to get me where I want – resources, planning, mentors,
  • what do I need to sustain me when me I am struggling – my reason for trying (my why)

what is stopping you?

Time to put the pedal to the metal. Go go go. start start start…. and do it with all your heart.

If you need help, I am but a message, an email away.

Peace and blessings on you.

Your Peace of Mind Coach.

Steven Alexander.

10 ways to deal with your fears

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

Welcome.

“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma

I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”

Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.

Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.

Do you have problems sleeping due to stress or anxiety?

One night I could  not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.

The 3 am Chat

So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”

I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat about fears for ?

Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.

  1. I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
  2. I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I  do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
  3. Coaching –  it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story”  where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – 30 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
  4. Work emails (My non coaching job) – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down.. on what is already a demanding job, I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.

Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep. 

So what did I learn?

I learned a few things. I learned:

i)       Fear is only as controlling as I let it.

ii)      Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.

iii)   As a coach, counsellor  I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.

Further research

I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.

Dr. F. Emelia Sam  3 Reasons Why Fear Is Actually a Good Thing

NHS -Ten ways to fight your fears

If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds 

Affordable Life Coaching- Support to deal with your fears

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“know your worth – you have value”

Just do it….

Metamorphosis.

Beat Brokenness

Welcome.

This post today is about those feelings of inner brokenness and how to over come them.

Have you ever felt broken? This does mean to suggest you are actually broken, but it sure feels like that! – “Hang in there!”

I know about brokenness! Today I broke down in tears just listening to a piece of music, have you ever done that?

There was a song I had had in my mind for over two weeks.

I am not sure where it came from or why, but there I was at work, always at work with this tune in my head.

Despite not knowing what it was I was determined to find it and listen to it.

It was almost like I had a date with destiny, and I did not want to miss out on no date.

What was so important about this particular song I had to find out.

So I began my search, and there she was..

Within literally seconds I am in floods of tears. It was like meeting a friend who was waiting for me, who had been waiting for me and here I was a gibbering mess on my knees in a ball in front of them as they put their arms around me, and just held me….

They said nothing, just held me tight, and I sobbed and they held me tighter. They wanted nothing from me.. I had nothing to give, I had nothing to give.

For so so long, years and years I had held on to so much stuff, secrets, abuse. hurts, those things which I had never shared .

I had spent so long surviving it was literally making me weaker and by not dealing with the brokenness, because no one wants to hang out with sad or depressed people, I carried more and more stuff by myself.

Not only did I carry my stuff, I carried years of other peoples brokenness too because they needed someone to be  there for them and I would never take that back, they are the most beautiful soulful people ever, and I will cherish them.It has been beautiful to see them grow and know I have been a part of their journey,

I refused to ask nothing from these folks only to believe in themselves and where they wanted to be, and to see them flourish was my goal….And how they soared and me so proud.

I found however, each time as heart warming as this was, I knew at some point they would move on or I would have to move on and this has honestly been a lonely journey. As good as a friend they may have become they could not take away what was at my core, and that was fine, I knew this was my journey.

And now I sit and listen to this song on repeat “as time stands still” and it feels like I have come to a time in my life of battle battle battle and finally scarred, bitten, broken feeling, I lift my head… and say to my myself ..”I survived.…..I survived…. but now it is time to stop just existing but to live.. and this means letting go.. not just a bit,, but all…. ALL OF IT!

In this moment, this paused moment, I do not have to be strong, I do not have to be some one else’s light, I do not have to be that father, that son, that husband, that colleague, that guru, that happy go lucky person, that annoying person, the person who fails, the person who does not measure up, that person who is never good enough…

*****Here I am in my utter rawness******

This person stands and tries to lift me up…. As I am unable to stand instead they kneel beside me

kneeling beside someone
I am with you

I look up and see who it is who is there… and it is me… only a different version, it is hard to explain, but they whisper…. “I have been waiting a long time for you, I do not believe we have met properly but I have been there, you know that right?”

I nod.

“come!” he says… “It is time!”

“Time for what? “ I ask

“you will see, this is your time…………………………………………………………….”

I get up leaving all my baggage. I do not need that for where I am going. I am now free.

I am free!

It has taken a long time to get here!

As I look around behind me, those who I have helped both dead and alive are standing together ushering me on…… and together they say…..

“This is your time… thank you for helping us, but it is now time to help yourself… and guess what, if ever you need us.. we are still here, we got your back..but go now… its time to go now………”

and it reminds me from the last scene of  one of my favourite films “Labyrinth.

“should you need us.”

Thank you everyone, and thank you for reading this!

GOURANGA! (BE HAPPY)

If you have been affected by this post or can relate and want to chat about things or need someone to listen. Please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Steven Alexander,

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

 

# Book an affordable life coaching session with me   <<<<<<< help you     “To let go” “break free” #Invest in you.

Befaffled

welcome

Today instead of my normal blog I wrote a poem. A poem because to contain what I am feeling, I think I would explode or implode.

Not meant for anyone specifically and ironically this may offend and some may feel disrespected.

This poem is born out of the frustration of the world seeking so much, you lose yourself to a point where you despise yourself and others wonder why!

It is a reflection perhaps on the confusion that people feel about themselves of which, I am just as guilty.

The main difference is, I may not be unique in what I say, in the parts that others say but I will see beyond what you project because I see the hidden.

My poem. Some may relate to it.

“Which “me” do you want “me” to be!

Today I was asked not to be “me” because you said “me” being “me” disrespected you, (not true, this made me blue) yet you like other parts of “me”, so you ask me to modify “me”

“You are not alone in not liking a part of “me” for others also, do not like other parts of “me” – which I then try to modify so I am not “me” yet they also say, the part of “me” you do not like- they like, because it what makes me “me”

I have modified “me” so many times over the years I no longer know “me” and the “me” I do know now I don’t want to know because it’s not “me”

Which “me” do you want me to be, because you don’t want me to be that “me” but you still want me to be “me”

only it’s the “me” you want me to be when it suits you! “me” being “me” disrespected you, (not true, this made me blue) yet you like other parts of “me”, so you ask me to modify “me”

“You are not alone in not liking a part of “me” for others also do not like other parts of “me” which I then try to modify so i am not “me” yet they also say, the part of “me” you do not like- they like, because it what makes me “me”

I have modified “me” so many times over the years I no longer know “me” and the “me” I do know now I don’t want to know because it’s not “me”

Which “me” do you want me to be, because you don’t want me to be that “me” but you still want me to be “me”

only it’s the “me” you want me to be when it suits you

My personal reflection:

I reflect on this and discover I am guilty of this, perhaps I try and change others to how it suits me. I am changing this and I am constantly trying to change this.

How do we change without losing ourselves any further than we already have?

The irony is even the “found” (I have found) are not as “found” as they would like to believe or project on to others.

The befafflement of life.

Thanks for reading,

propic (2)

Steven Alexander

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

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3 big life questions unpacked.

Hi, Thank you for dropping by!

 

Mentally things have been pretty tricky and I have been close to crisis point a few times. I have survived by focusing on work which itself has had its own challenges, but honestly between us, I have had a few blips and wobbles which have caused me anger and frustration.

I think focus has its place and something I am not that great on.

HOW TO FOCUS?

For me, I have to look further than normal… I call it “the end game” or “the bigger picture” or even “the long game”

I have been struggling with some of life’s fundamental questions AGAIN!

Who am I?

what am I about?

What do I want to achieve?

These are important questions to me as for some unknown reason I need purpose, I crave purpose but also valid reasoning behind them.

To brake these down then:

Who am I?

For those of us who have low self esteem, or have had bad experiences or hear those voices on repeat (I am not talking about schizophrenia) but those of WORTHLESSNESS etc etc, I do not need to go into detail… trying to play new voices on repeat that overcome these is hard. It is not as simple as “snap out of it” or “stop feeling sorry for yourself” These are genuine, crippling, voiced together of years of those words that stuck. You never intended them too, you wish you could vanquish them, however they are there, and some of us live with them.

#words can hurt, #words can scar.

WHO AM I? is also a search for “SELF IDENTITY” Sometimes we can lose ourselves in life, and lose ourselves in identities that are either fake, or shallow, or roles we have to play, or through survival. I wonder which of the “me’s” I have to play is the real “me?”

I re- learned recently when I “got lost” walking home that sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…but also the question is, were you really lost at all, is a diversion a lost path?

I walked past a reflection the other day – I hate reflections of myself, but I looked, well, glanced. What I saw surprised me. I saw “strong” “proud” “independent” “Fierce” “focused” words I would never associate myself with. That morning was a good productive morning. Ouch I said “productive” another word I never use!

WHAT AM I ABOUT? This question is slightly harder and required some soul searching as again, the temptation is to go into default mode of..”nothing” “I have nothing” “I offer nothing” “I am nothing” and while there are some out there that would love to have me believe this – this is far from the truth and one of those lies of the devil. So I pondered….

I am about helping others, being someone that can be relied on, being a good worker, good friend, good parent. I am a reflector, I am a LIFE CHANGER! I am a being who does not give up in the face of adversity. I am a human being!

What makes us a human being? – what separates us from the animal kingdom? a blog for another time maybe.

I have wanted to walk away from my blog world this last few weeks. I keep asking myself WHAT IS THE POINT of them? of course not said in any positive or productive way.

A friend said recently as I was about to walk away and close up shop, said this..

“what you have to say is important. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t say it. If someone does not comment or whatever, it does not mean that it isn’t read or it hasn’t helped someone. You just do not know!”

My friend asked me what the blog was about…and I told her the content..

At this point my friend went quiet. “Don’t stop writing!” she said.. They are important issues, very important” She turned her head away from me.

At that beautiful moment I realised a deeper side to my friend as though she had confessed something without actually confessing it… I knew as hard as I found it,

I had to keep writing.

WHAT DO I WANT TO ACHIEVE? – world fame, recognition, riches? The truth is I really did not know, and perhaps this is why my blogs/life lacked direction, because I lack direction. My life was reflecting my mindset – chaotic. Perhaps it was hard to ask myself what I wanted to achieve. I was used to riding the waves of life, let others direct me, control me as though what I wanted did not matter, perhaps I did not care!

My parents and teachers would say “he can do anything when he puts his mind to it”

and I guess they were right… but truthfully this was too much like hard work. Do not get me wrong I am not lazy, I just have to seek purpose and meaning to what I want to achieve, and who for! I did not want to compete with others. I did not want to set myself up to fail or to maintain an unsustainable level of achievement.

I began to contemplate my memorable achievements. WHAT ARE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS?

I used to play a game called “paperboy” on my computer – I wanted to be a paper boy! – I became a paperboy -loved it.

I wanted to work in a fast food place because I love burgers and fries – I got a job working in a fast food place and got to eat burgers n fries. I also got fired as I ate too many burgers and fries.

I wanted to get paid for drinking and chatting to people in bars – I later did get a job doing that.

I wanted a job where I was paid to sleep – I am currently in a job where I get paid to sleep.

I wanted to WRITE AND EARN MONEY ON LINE – I am a little way there.

so my new mission or part of: is to travel and write and eat cake and write and drink coffee and write..oh and get paid at the same time would be great.

As I do have a charitable side I would have to help others to a capacity of sorts.

While out in the community I went to Mcdonalds… and there I was speaking on the phone when a guy began talking to me.

As I invited him over we chatted through life and issues and more life. The guy left with a smile and hope! saying “I haven’t smiled in ages”

Another friend.. needed spirits lifting.. so we spoke and I encouraged him.

It is as if in my desperation I was calling out about my purpose suddenly it is like God made appointments came my way of opportunities to help people where I could offer value. Helping others helps me.

This theme of lack of FEELING VALUED seems to be popping up a lot in peoples lives and work places- all around!

This blog , I refer to as my “rest room.”

Here is the place where I can be real, be honest, be me, and share. This blog will never be for everyone, it may never be for anyone, but it could be for someone, and that is enough for me.

 My blog adventures.

I write for Fedupofbeingpoor It is an insight of “striving to thrive” rather than survive. If the title grabs you, please do go and visit. Any tips or comments welcome. 

The throne Room  is my RESOURCE site. Feel free to check that and check in from time to time.New free content added regularly. If there are  life resources you think could benefit others and do not mind sharing or directing others towards please let me know.

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If you would  like to comment , can relate, need a chat, direction, or someone to listen, or your spirit lifting. Get in touch I would love to hear from you.

 

thanks for following

God bless you all <><

propic (2)

Steven Alexander

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

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“Jump on in”

Welcome,

Thank you for visiting,

Many years ago I stood on the roof top of a very large apartment block. I was with a friend.

It was partly to be rebellious, as for safety reasons it was not safe to be there. It was risky, dangerous.

We walked around the ledge 14 storeys high looking down, sheesh was high.

It was wild, free, we laughed.

But later we chatted through our lives as we sat on the edge. My friends dad would beat him regularly, my life was going down the pan. We were both spiraling, having given up on life and not caring about consequences.

I stood up on the ledge and looked down, my friend further away did the same. The same thought came to our minds……..to jump!

As I was about to a voice appeared to whisper to me.. “do not jump I love you”

The word “love” was a dirty word to me so not one I used. The voice whispered again… “I love you”

Tears fell from my face uncontrollably. I had not heard those words said meaningfully in many many years. I Cried.

I stepped back and pulled my friend away, and said.. “don’t jump, I love you mate…”

As crowds had gathered and sirens were roaring… We left the roof and never spoke of it again or shared it..

A Different Perspective

SO what do you think of when you hear the word “Jump?” What thoughts or emotions go through your head?

“Jump just jump”

– Imagine the scene! (or perhaps read the one below instead)

Emergency, Exit, Green, White, Direction

A parent is encouraging their child to jump into the water at the local swimming pool. The parent is there, arms open wide, their child inches away, but for some reason the child will not jump.

“I got you, I got you, you will be fine.” the parent soothes expectantly, and hopeful..

I will catch you! you will be safe!

The parent just wonders why their child does not trust them or what is stopping them.

The child looks first at the water, then to the parent, then back at the water. It sees the deep deep water, “what if I sink? what if my parent does not catch me, what if I fall?…….”

Then.. at that moment (or an eternity for the parent) the child makes the decision.. jump and face the consequences (which they know) of not jumping or jump and not know.. can they.. will they trust …is this faith to jump?

Have you ever been afraid of something, and you just do not know why? It is crazy right?

Sometimes there can be no rhyme or reason , or something you can put your finger on yet – yet there it is that “THING” again that just stops you!

Perhaps this blog is not you, and you can breathe because you can relax! You took that jump or several.. you have no issues with trust!

“Wow” – I so want to be that person, I want to be you! FEARLESS.

I did not want to write this blog today because it meant owning up to the fact that:

I have fears and insecurities – I have doubts and trust issues.

I do not want to admit that or share that with the world!

I am a man, an adult, what is that about?

I do not know how to deal with the above emotions it is hard, so hard..so when people share these things with me, I can relate, I can so relate, but I think it is ok to be scared!

I will say that again, It is ok to be scared!

Fear although can stop us, and be a self-defense mechanism to keep us safe, but being sacred is also about saying – “do you know what.. I am worried..”

And now…… we can “dialogue” – I love that word. I had to actually look up that word then, but this is what the first site said:

“To take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem”

Origin Middle English: from Old French dialoge, via Latin from Greek dialogos, from dialegesthai ‘converse with’, from dia ‘through’ + legein ‘speak’.

So now we are speaking or voicing our worries…and maybe we can get answers to these problems, by talking them through, or finding out.

I was scared about two things tonight

Firstly:

Writing this blog today because I know there are things in my life which I need to “jump” into which are huge pools for me and unknown…

The second thing was using the phone and chatting to a friend who I have known for years.

But.…what harm could come to me writing a simple blog or speaking to a friend.

It is fair to add that it also “ok” not to “jump” sometimes the pressures to jump can have the opposite effect, in my first story, life was so bad I thought about it. If yours is… If you need to vent or dialogue, get in touch or chat to someone.

If we are asked to jump, and we are not ready, this may not end well, but other times we jump with hope and, faith, or fingers crossed in some circumstances.

Some of us may even do a risk assessment before we do anything and weigh up the risks. – welcome to risk management.

Jump or not jump?

“ToDay I JumPed.”

Image result for scared to jump in pool

If you need to dialogue with somebody, or have no where to go or no one to go to, but you want help getting over your fears.

Contact me anytime:My door is always open

Image result for scared to jump in deep water

Thanks for Reading, please visit soon, or feel free to comment.

Steven Alexander,

propic (2)

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