10 ways to deal with your fears

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Taking time out is Time well spent

Welcome.

“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma

I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”

Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.

Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.

Do you have problems sleeping due to stress or anxiety?

One night I could  not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.

The 3 am Chat

So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”

I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat about fears for ?

Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.

  1. I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
  2. I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I  do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
  3. Coaching –  it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story”  where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – 30 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
  4. Work emails (My non coaching job) – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down.. on what is already a demanding job, I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.

Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep. 

So what did I learn?

I learned a few things. I learned:

i)       Fear is only as controlling as I let it.

ii)      Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.

iii)   As a coach, counsellor  I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.

Further research

I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.

Dr. F. Emelia Sam  3 Reasons Why Fear Is Actually a Good Thing

NHS -Ten ways to fight your fears

If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds 

Affordable Life Coaching- Support to deal with your fears

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“know your worth – you have value”

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#”Need a breakthrough”

Welcome

Today I give thanks and honour to my friends, readers followers, of whom without you I truly would not be here and I mean this literally.  – Steven Alexander

This blog is not a side which many will see, will know of me, and I am sure would be shocked, but I share with you in my quest for mental-freedom whatever that looks like, so somehow I can inspire others and hold them up.

There are times when things just overwhelm me, and my mind and spirit just struggle to cope. I can have amazing days, o.k days, good days, but it can take just a word, or a message or just the tiniest thing to flip this emotion.

I seek breakthrough strategies that I can pass on and share to strengthen others, just as others  have lifted  me this month.

It is as though those who felt they were alone ,are being brought together, connected, to share, to relate, to just be with another…not to say I understand, not to say “what you need to do is” not to add to the burdens of life, but instead to metaphorically stand with.. alongside.

I have been building some foundations and my journey has taken some twists and turns but by grace I am being refined and shaped and brought back here as my place of retreat rest and sanctuary.

I feel like this blog, where I started my journey as a “Dads Diary” has become so much more. This is my virtual “safe room” that “cell” than rather confines me in a bad way like other cells,  this one I can just be me.. I can cry, I can do business, I can go back, move forward without white noise.

So I am seeking breakthroughs today and putting them on my mental vision board.

I have a house situation… I’m seeking a house.

Still fighting to keep the wolf from the door – finances

Trying to reach my intention point and seeking alignment #law of attraction.

Continue to fight-  depression, oppression, slander, bullying, jealous folk, scoffers.

Jamie Rohrbaugh, has been a huge inspiration to me. She has a wealth of resources and experiences. Coming from a christian perspective she shares how she has battled and now helps others including areas of depression and poverty. Thank you Jamie. 

There are so many of you I could name on here so from the bottom of heart thank you for all you are and what you do. 

If you are in need of break through today whatever it is I am thinking of you. If you want to get in touch and need some one, please do drop me a line.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander

Meet Kintsugi (About me)

 

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

Resources

Pushing back the shadows –  Support and awareness for mental health –  Anxiety, mental health depression 

Choose Life.

New life.

Write a dream, live a dream!

BREATHE – YOU GOT THIS! 

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“Know your worth – you have value”

Welcome friends, and friends who I have not yet met.

Good to have you here.

This is a place to chill, grab a drink, maybe put some music on, and enjoy……..

I really want to start off this blog with a huge “thank you” to all who view, follow, and support this journey.

From the bottom of my heart:

thank you

 

This is merely just the start and much more to come, so buckle up folks!

There will be laughter, tears, openness, confessions, real life struggles, you name it..it is real, it is life, and what is more YOU ARE INVITED to be a part of not only my story, my journey, but also to help others.

We live in such a broken world with so many broken people, wounded, yet beautiful without being told it or know. Some people have given up thinking that there are good folks still out there, I know there are…YOU!

Many of these folk feel they have no value, nothing to offer – but I want to prove them wrong.

Many of us do not value or even know what we have to offer.

Do you ever ask yourself that – “what do I have to offer?” I know I do.

Sometimes even the offering we have does not seem to make us feel valued – can anyone relate?

So many people I know are people pleaser’s, and this is so humbling if you are one of these or who know people like these, but often deep down these are often the saddest and loneliest people I know, hiding their insecurities behind looking after others. A lot of my friends are certainly these type.

I think what is worse to hear sometimes and even sadder is when they tell me that they do not feel listened to. I always feel convicted when I hear this, because as good as I think I am at listening, I have to question, AM I a good listener?

There is a beautiful word that I like to use (and which I am working on) which is “honour” – How can I show that I honour someone, value them, show them that I am listening? If their experience is that they are not used to those things, how can I be different.

I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT! counter cultural even that.

>>>>>DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.<<<<<

I would like to leave with a beautiful quote from a blog I saw when I was thinking about this topic. It certainly gave me soul food for thought. I hope you like it.

know your worth

It’s also incredibly important to know your own value as a person. We’re all amazing, unique, gifted individuals, and yet we don’t inherently know that. We tend to place our worth in the hands of others, and usually people who don’t deserve any say in how worthy we truly are. Your worth isn’t defined by whether or not someone else loves, sees, values, appreciates, or adores you, it’s inherent. You are worthy because you’re alive. Regardless of your mistakes and failures, you’re worthy of an amazing life and complete happiness. If you want others to see and appreciate you for who you truly are, know and honour that worth. Never settle for less than you deserve, don’t tolerate being treated like garbage, and always demand the absolute best for yourself in every situation.

Please do check out the link for other ways to be seen, be loved and valued for who you really are – Perhaps one day I  could write a whole book on this.

Have a kind day:)

Please do  follow me, comment  or drop me a line in confidence  if you need to chat.

God bless you and do say hello:) 

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Steven Alexander

“Aim High, Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds

Support me, sponsor me. I rely on the generosity and donations of good people like yourself. All support appreciated. Thank You.

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