Planning – Are you a planner? plan your days, your life?
Do you value and respect your time? and What is your time worth?
When you think of the word “planning” what comes to mind?
How would you scale your planning skills out of 10? 0 being not good to 10 pro.
Lots of questions but can you answer them?
I would say I am a 5 or 6. however realistically I am about a 2 still on occasion.
Would being better at planning help you or make no difference?
For me, planning was a word that filled me with dread, and to an extent it still does!
When I think about planning I think future, overwhelm, restrictive, stress, anxiety.
If I am honest, not the most positive emotions come to mind – however this is changing…….. and I will share why!
Planning can reduce stress and anxiety
To some degree, many of us can relate to stress and anxiety whether it is our own, or being on the receiving end of others.
At times I can have awful stress and anxiety, and I thought this was something, I just had to live with.
I notice that many others suffer the same as me, so in a sense this became “normal” and I accepted this.
If like me, you feel that life is chaotic and you feel like you don’t know if you are coming or going and it feels like you have not done anything, yet you feel so exhausted, then you have come to the right place and this post is for you.
If maybe you are an expert at planning, then please do feel free to leave any tips or hacks that could help others out.
Planning to change? – Change is possible!
One day, I decided to talk to myself as I often did, and started to ask myself what was causing me stress and anxiety. I wrote down a long list. My lack of planning and not knowing where my time had gone was causing me huge stress.
I wondered if this was something I could change, and if so how?
It was time to get to work.
i) Change Mindset ii) Learn iii) Action
First of all challenge your thinking around planning and what this means to you. Learn to either replace the negative emotions around it or over ride them.
I knew that I no longer wanted to feel the way I did. (change emotions and thoughts)
I knew that better planning would benefit me and my relationships with others (realise the benefits)
I knew that I had no idea about planning and I had to learn and seek help. (Know your limits)
Action the changes and the learning.
Distractions and Procrastination.
Recognise and admit it is easy to get distracted.
If like me, you find distractions are more fun.
Procrastination is the habit of talking about stuff you want to do or intend to do.
Do these benefit you?
Do these help you to get done what you need to? if yes then that it is fine and good but if not, be mindful when you doing these try to re focus.
Learn to be strict on yourself. and remind yourself why you are doing it.
If you think you need help and want support with planning andget in touch
I am Steven Alexander, writer, blogger, parent, healthcare support worker. Welcome to my blog!
The above question seems a strange and personal question to ask, but so many of us have huge self body issues which really affects how we feel and how we think, and affects our self esteem. This is not just females this affects it is males too, and actually, realistically non gender specific.
Do you compare yourself to other people and wish you had their looks, their physique, do they get the good comments and attention and you get…….not the same?
Truthfully, we never really know what is going on in someone elses life, and how someone else might be feeling, because even those that we may consider attractive to them… they could have just as big issues as us all!
The mirror Image
As I stand infront of the mirror I am one of those people who try and avoid it.
As I look, it is easy for me to find fault with myself, and hear those voices from past about what I look like, and it acts to re-inforce how I feel about my body and also myself. Isn’t it amazing how many of us remember and hold on to the negatives!
Perhaps you too, are one of those people that wish they could change so much about themselves but see it as a pipe dream, as un realistic maybe, maybe you tried those diets or many of them and they just did not work for you and now you have given up…. if this is you, I hear you, I understand.
It is your body – who cares?
If you are hating yourself or dislike yourself or worse because of how you look like and you feel like no one cares how you feel, and maybe you have given up caring I want you to know I care and if you need to talk I am here, get in touch
Why do I care? what do I know about body issues?
As some one who has had low self esteem for as long as I can remember, I know what this feels like , for me at least, the self hating, and how deep that can affect the mind and the heart. As some one with big ears, bad skin, obese, unkept teeth, skin tags… my list goes on and on.
As a self harmer, my body was the one thing in my life I felt I had control over so when I was in a bad way I would not take care of myself as maybe those in a good mental state would do as normal.
Some people might just see the outside and make comments about size or smells as yes my hygine was not as good as it should have been because I did not value myself or have self worth, but of course no one knows the inner you and may just see some one as “having issues” “acts wierd” “self obessesed” what ever coping strategies we may use to compensate what we feel inside.
But it does not have to be this way! – I say again it does not have to be this way.
IF THIS IS YOU, AND YOU CAN RELATE TO ANY OF THE ABOVE – STOP!!!!!
In the past I always put others first and when it came to myself it was like I did not matter.
I became tired, exhausted , used, misunderstood and as I looked after others needs more and more, my own just fell away. One day I just said to myself enough was enough and I was going to end it all one way or another.
I started on a journey of self development helping myself to be better and I began to seek help and support. I realised that by bettering myself I could help more people.
What the right support can achieve
People asking for your help.
Begin to look after yourself,
No longer listen to, or hang around toxic people.
Stress and anxiety levels drop.
Feelings of depression lowered.
Are you looking to improve your life? – Let me help!
Thank you for reading!
If you would like to share youir experiences or have been affected by this post then please get in touch. I would love to hear from you. thank you for visiting and reading please do follow my blog or check out more on facebook
or join my facebook Select Community “Soul cafe” search for Piece of Mind – Soul Cafe Steven Alexander Motivation Mindset Coach Group
A special thank you to my own network and friends including soul cafe tribe,”Tribal support” “Nourish” “mastermind” “samaritan University” mencap crew, Coach Hannah Lucy Galliers, Kain Ramsey – www.achology.com,
and a special thanks to an amazing guy,.the insperation of this post, who has inspired me to be consistant and just “start”, he is all about fitness diet, mindet, business, coach to entrepeneurs, the awesome Ollie Jordan Matthews http://www.revitalizeationblueprint.com
Mentally things have been pretty tricky and I have been close to crisis point a few times. I have survived by focusing on work which itself has had its own challenges, but honestly between us, I have had a few blips and wobbles which have caused me anger and frustration.
I think focus has its place and something I am not that great on.
HOW TO FOCUS?
For me, I have to look further than normal… I call it “the end game” or “the bigger picture” or even “the long game”
I have been struggling with some of life’s fundamental questions AGAIN!
Who am I?
what am I about?
What do I want to achieve?
These are important questions to me as for some unknown reason I need purpose, I crave purpose but also valid reasoning behind them.
To brake these down then:
Who am I?
For those of us who have low self esteem, or have had bad experiences or hear those voices on repeat (I am not talking about schizophrenia) but those of WORTHLESSNESS etc etc, I do not need to go into detail… trying to play new voices on repeat that overcome these is hard. It is not as simple as “snap out of it” or “stop feeling sorry for yourself” These are genuine, crippling, voiced together of years of those words that stuck. You never intended them too, you wish you could vanquish them, however they are there, and some of us live with them.
#words can hurt, #words can scar.
WHO AM I? is also a search for “SELF IDENTITY” Sometimes we can lose ourselves in life, and lose ourselves in identities that are either fake, or shallow, or roles we have to play, or through survival. I wonder which of the “me’s” I have to play is the real “me?”
I re- learned recently when I “got lost” walking home that sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…but also the question is, were you really lost at all, is a diversion a lost path?
I walked past a reflection the other day – I hate reflections of myself, but I looked, well, glanced. What I saw surprised me. I saw “strong” “proud” “independent” “Fierce” “focused” words I would never associate myself with. That morning was a good productive morning. Ouch I said “productive” another word I never use!
WHAT AM I ABOUT? This question is slightly harder and required some soul searching as again, the temptation is to go into default mode of..”nothing” “I have nothing” “I offer nothing” “I am nothing” and while there are some out there that would love to have me believe this – this is far from the truth and one of those lies of the devil. So I pondered….
I am about helping others, being someone that can be relied on, being a good worker, good friend, good parent. I am a reflector, I am a LIFE CHANGER! I am a being who does not give up in the face of adversity. I am a human being!
What makes us a human being? – what separates us from the animal kingdom? a blog for another time maybe.
I have wanted to walk away from my blog world this last few weeks. I keep asking myself WHAT IS THE POINT of them? of course not said in any positive or productive way.
A friend said recently as I was about to walk away and close up shop, said this..
“what you have to say is important. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t say it. If someone does not comment or whatever, it does not mean that it isn’t read or it hasn’t helped someone. You just do not know!”
My friend asked me what the blog was about…and I told her the content..
At this point my friend went quiet. “Don’t stop writing!” she said.. They are important issues, very important” She turned her head away from me.
At that beautiful moment I realised a deeper side to my friend as though she had confessed something without actually confessing it… I knew as hard as I found it,
I had to keep writing.
WHAT DO I WANT TO ACHIEVE? – world fame, recognition, riches? The truth is I really did not know, and perhaps this is why my blogs/life lacked direction, because I lack direction. My life was reflecting my mindset – chaotic. Perhaps it was hard to ask myself what I wanted to achieve. I was used to riding the waves of life, let others direct me, control me as though what I wanted did not matter, perhaps I did not care!
My parents and teachers would say “he can do anything when he puts his mind to it”
and I guess they were right… but truthfully this was too much like hard work. Do not get me wrong I am not lazy, I just have to seek purpose and meaning to what I want to achieve, and who for! I did not want to compete with others. I did not want to set myself up to fail or to maintain an unsustainable level of achievement.
I began to contemplate my memorable achievements. WHAT ARE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS?
I used to play a game called “paperboy” on my computer – I wanted to be a paper boy! – I became a paperboy -loved it.
I wanted to work in a fast food place because I love burgers and fries – I got a job working in a fast food place and got to eat burgers n fries. I also got fired as I ate too many burgers and fries.
I wanted to get paid for drinking and chatting to people in bars – I later did get a job doing that.
I wanted a job where I was paid to sleep – I am currently in a job where I get paid to sleep.
I wanted to WRITE AND EARN MONEY ON LINE – I am a little way there.
so my new mission or part of: is to travel and write and eat cake and write and drink coffee and write..oh and get paid at the same time would be great.
As I do have a charitable side I would have to help others to a capacity of sorts.
While out in the community I went to Mcdonalds… and there I was speaking on the phone when a guy began talking to me.
As I invited him over we chatted through life and issues and more life. The guy left with a smile and hope! saying “I haven’t smiled in ages”
Another friend.. needed spirits lifting.. so we spoke and I encouraged him.
It is as if in my desperation I was calling out about my purpose suddenly it is like God made appointments came my way of opportunities to help people where I could offer value. Helping others helps me.
This theme of lack of FEELING VALUED seems to be popping up a lot in peoples lives and work places- all around!
This blog , I refer to as my “rest room.”
Here is the place where I can be real, be honest, be me, and share. This blog will never be for everyone, it may never be for anyone, but it could be for someone, and that is enough for me.
My blog adventures.
I write for FedupofbeingpoorIt is an insight of “striving to thrive” rather than survive. If the title grabs you, please do go and visit. Any tips or comments welcome.
The throne Room is my RESOURCE site. Feel free to check that and check in from time to time.New free content added regularly. If there are life resources you think could benefit others and do not mind sharing or directing others towards please let me know.