10 ways to deal with your fears

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent


“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma

I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”

Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.

Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.

Do you have problems sleeping due to stress or anxiety?

One night I could  not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.

The 3 am Chat

So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”

I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat about fears for ?

Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.

  1. I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
  2. I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I  do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
  3. Coaching –  it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story”  where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – 30 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
  4. Work emails (My non coaching job) – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down.. on what is already a demanding job, I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.

Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep. 

So what did I learn?

I learned a few things. I learned:

i)       Fear is only as controlling as I let it.

ii)      Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.

iii)   As a coach, counsellor  I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.

Further research

I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.

Dr. F. Emelia Sam  3 Reasons Why Fear Is Actually a Good Thing

NHS -Ten ways to fight your fears

If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds 

Affordable Life Coaching- Support to deal with your fears

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Thanks for dropping by.

Sometimes a situation arises, that’s “OK,” an issue begins to consume you.. This is “OK”.. Niggles sneek in…now this is turning into a snowball.. People are making demands of you, life is making demands on you… You are making demands of you and soon you are……………..

Breathe you got this!

Now me….I am a flapper and how I flap. I squark I wave I get no where I’m no use nor ornament (more than normal) anxiety can be a killer!

I’m more of a flight person.. If I could I’d run and how I’d run I’d never look back but sadly this doesn’t make things disappear.

So.. Here’s the thing. I’ve been having some mad dreams and thoughts about doors and opportunities but my heads spinning so much it’s going to fall off and then I get distracted so I’m sharing this to try and regain focus and composure.. So here goes people I’m going in.

This is an actual  dream I have frequently. I’m flying my arms are out and I’m flying above my enemies.

I have this dream a lot which is symbolic because I am beginning to fly and I will soar and rise above those that mock me.. I may even be tempted to do what some birds do in the air, but I wouldn’t stoop so low. So I’m keeping this dream. WORK IN PROGRESS

Writing is another dream, so I’m starting to write poems and have ideas for stories.  ACHIEVABLE.

I would love to end my poverty streak. I am fed up of being in debt and having to watch what I spend. I want to spoil people, give to charity help others, not worry about debts. I know what it is like to be fed up and poor!

ARE YOU FEELING POOR? read this blog >>>>>> – Rich or Poor/poverty or wealthy

This blog sounds quite selfish in many ways but if I get myself right, I can help so many more people, and when I succeed I can teach others who will teach others.

Maybe you already “live your dream,” maybe you already are focused, maybe you are making serious money you don’t have to worry about bills – I applaud you. Please share your tips!

If however you can relate to anything I say then let us journey together. How do you deal with your anxieties?

Maybe we can help each other and others help others. Spread the dream spread the love. Feel free to follow, comment or get in touch.

Peace be with you, thanks for reading.

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Steven Alexander,

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