How a 4am stomach ache turned out to be an amazing morning!

Hi, Thank you for visiting me.

welcome
welcome to my home

Have you ever had one of those major stomach aches that just get you up in the night, or you have to go on the bladder run in the early hours – and then you just cannot go back to sleep?

welcome to kitchen talk – I am sat with coffee at silly o clock watching the world go by and thinking those random thoughts you think when just absent in mind and far away, have you ever done that?

Last night the phrase “lost in awesome abandonment” just popped in my head, and a real sense of “wow, life is good” There I was just stocking my fridge, my freezer, my fruit bowl .. well .. look at this…

Are you a fruity person?

Life has not always been like this, far from it. In the last few years I had dealt with child abuse which my mind had locked away, I had been homeless, in debt, yet here I now was over looking the sea in my apartment, with food, good friends online supporting me with website work, being my business champions, giving me love, I was re united with an old college friend and for once I felt life was good.

life is our teacher

Life does have a habit of teaching us many things whether we have ears to listen or a heart that is open, but in truth we can be so full of hurt or anger that we can often miss the tiny things that life is teaching us .

So for example – being homeless – some peoples biggest fear… was once mine, and not something I would choose or wish on anyone, however the skills you learn are huge

Survival Think fast/act fast – because if you do not it could be a matter of life and death

Resourcefulness You learn quickly what resources you need, where and how to get them

Networking – linked with above, this is the who.. make friends, make contacts, get doors open

Gratitude – it is easy to have the mentality of “i want, i need” and victim mentality of “i deserve, the world owes me” but let me tell you, this will not get you far, so instead if you can master gratitude you notice how things change.

Lessons from Gratitude

Attract more what you love and desire rather than what you do not.

Helping others through our stories

Why share all this, you may ask?

I often get asked… why do you share stories about you, surely isn’t that egotistical?

I share because…

people relate – and when we relate to others we form deeper connections

People like people who are like them – shared or similar experiences attracts similar folk

By sharing our stories we help to heal ourselves and others

If a stranger, friend or family tried to tell you what you could and could not do in your own home – how would you feel? – This is my home, my heart, my sweat and tears and I invite people into my home and my heart.

Offer of help:

If you need to talk about your story, or something you have been affected by, get in touch in private – Let’s chat … click here, and I look forward to hearing from you.

www.stevenalexandersimmonds.com

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Support my ministry – All support goes to help those that need mental health, emotional support, the homeless and those that come my way that cannot afford the help they need and need a step up not a hand out. click here.

10 ways to deal with your fears

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

Welcome.

“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma

I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”

Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.

Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.

Do you have problems sleeping due to stress or anxiety?

One night I could  not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.

The 3 am Chat

So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”

I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat about fears for ?

Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.

  1. I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
  2. I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I  do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
  3. Coaching –  it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story”  where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – 30 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
  4. Work emails (My non coaching job) – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down.. on what is already a demanding job, I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.

Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep. 

So what did I learn?

I learned a few things. I learned:

i)       Fear is only as controlling as I let it.

ii)      Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.

iii)   As a coach, counsellor  I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.

Further research

I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.

Dr. F. Emelia Sam  3 Reasons Why Fear Is Actually a Good Thing

NHS -Ten ways to fight your fears

If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.

Thank you for reading.

Steven Alexander.

“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds 

Affordable Life Coaching- Support to deal with your fears

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About me – Meet Kintsugi.

“know your worth – you have value”

Just do it….

Metamorphosis.

Backpack baby

Welcome,

Imagine you are have been given custody of a child for a short time. You have been tasked by the agency that within this time you are to prepare this baby for the biggest thing they will ever have to face.

Its called “Life!”

Let’s face it, you have experience in this. You are living testimonies, and have survived so far right.

Just for fun, and pure imagination.. You are tasked with equipping this baby so it’s ready, but you only have a short time and dont know how long you have it for, but you have to make it “ready” as much as you are able.

The backpack is a metaphorical one.

What advice would you give this baby in order to prepare it for “life? ”

What are the things you wished someone had told you, or that you wish you had listened to?

If you was to leave a legacy or a footprint in life, what would it be?

Tick tock! 🙂

Thanks for reading,

Steven Alexander

photo of blog writer steven Alexander
Taking time out is Time well spent

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