Where you at?


My question today is this.

Where is God? Does God exist? does God listen to prayers?

To be honest these are often questions I ask. Whether you believe in a deity or not there are times I guess when we feel most alone, vulnerable, sad, angry.

I was walking in the park. It is a park of my childhood,  today I was on my own. As I reached the end of my walk a cloud of sadness descended.

I’m suddenly feeling quite vulnerable and alone and I wonder what I’m doing with my life… What’s my purpose right..

I look at the church in the distance I can see n wonder where is God and I look around expecting something or someone.

My mind wanders. An old guy with his dog draws up beside me. The guy is roughly dressed, smells, looks battered and beaten and his dog appears much the same way.
The old man looks into my eyes.

“I seen them eyes… They look like sad eyes like the worlds ending like you got no fight left.”

I can’t disagree it sums up how I feel.

“here sit” he says pointing to a bench.

“rest up n let’s chat”

I do not know this guy. He reaches into a dusty dirty looking bag that he had on his shoulder and pulls out a sandwich. He picks some fluff and hair off.

“want one?” he asks waving it at me. I refuse politely although I’m hungry-not sure if I was that hungry.

“so what do you want.. You know will make you happy? ” he asks as he takes a bite and feeds some to his dog who eagerly nearly takes his finger off.

I ponder.. A reliable car.. A place bigger than a shoebox to live..to feel love.

And I guess there it was. I was feeling so empty, lifeless love less. I’d had friends texting me, through out the day, I’d messaged others.. Yet here I was missing a life I could never go back to which wasn’t that perfect either but seems that way at this moment.

“dunno” I shrugged lieing.

The old man put his hand on my shoulder and gets up.

“you will get there son. When you know where there is.. You will get there.” he said wiping his mouth smiling.

He called his dog who at this point wagged and looked at me.

“you ain’t gonna get there sitting there though” he said, “looks like it’s gonna rain.. And when it rains it sure does pours.”

I watched as he hobbled off. I wanted to cry but men don’t cry.

The old man looked round but continued on his journey and then it’s just like he vanished.

It was getting colder and darker and I had to get going as it started to rain just as the old man said and rather heavily.

I got in my car… And slowly I began to count my blessings.

I don’t know where “there is” but I have means of getting there.

I think I need to appreciate what I do have and maybe start there!

Tomorrow is a new day.

Thanks for visiting.

Steven Alexander

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A minion of memories,

Hi, Thanks for dropping by, how are you?


What are your memories? What is your memory like? How do you remember memories?

I live a four hour ride away from my family. It is a far distance to drive and expensive, so I sadly do not see them as much as I would like, but I was off to see them when I was at a petrol/gas station at the start of my journey.

I fill up the car. I go to pay and I enter my pin number. It gets declined. I try several times and it gets blocked. I begin to panic because how do I pay and how can I forget a number I use day in day out and one I’ve used for years. It’s a simple thing yet I’ve genuinely forgotten.

It is like the part of my brain that stores this everyday bit of coding was gone. This was very confusing traumatic and upsetting. What other basic and important things could I forget/have I forgotten already?

With dementia now getting people at a younger age I begin to think how important our memories and our mind is…………..

Remember memories

Make the most of moments,

Capture them,

Experience them,

Share them,

Keep them.

One day I fear my memories will fade and on that day I will need reminders.

Invest your time with folk. – Time is short.

Take more photos or videos- you can never take enough photos.

Look through photos – You will be amazed at what you may have forgotten.

Look at old memory sticks or buy new memory sticks.

Make scrap books – Record your memories for prosperity.

Keep a memory box – A small box that can kept to remind you of times gone by.

Live for moments.. Moments are precious.

Tell those who matter that you love them – Tell them more!

With persistence I found a way past the blockage and to access money.

Sometimes persistence is the key and not giving up. Some relationships in life can be like this. I must remember this.

More Minion Quotes

Thanks for visiting, good to see you here. Feel free to comment or follow.

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 Steven Alexander


This post can also be found at the below as a resource.

The throne Room  is my RESOURCE site. Feel free to check that and check in from time to time.New free content added regularly. If there are  life resources you think could benefit others and do not mind sharing or directing others towards please let me know.

Meet Kintsugi.


one life



Whether friend or visitor, it’s good to have you visit.

This blog is a diary of sorts. The diary of “Kintsugi – me”

My name Steven Alexander. I’ve always wanted to write, but never knew what to write or how to start.

Have you ever experienced being held back or didn’t dare do something out of fear? Have you missed golden opportunities that you wish you had not?

I promised myself this year, that I would overcome fears, and things that have stopped me in the past.

Discover with me, my reflections, thoughts, and experiences.

I will stand up against injustice, I will explore life and mental health, I will speak out and be a voice for others.

The aim of this blog is to encourage and enable others as well as learn new things about myself.

Through soul searching and exploring.. my inner “Kintsugi” was born.

“Kintsugi” is wild, free, soulful, has a voice, and is a voice for others.

Before I started this blog I had a vision of a clay pot shattered into pieces. This clay pot was me. No matter how much I wanted to piece the pot together it was so broken no glue was ever going to fix it, the cracks were too much.

Perhaps I was going to be broken forever!

I then got another vision of gold poured between the cracks and somehow the pot became whole again with a glint of gold.

As I shared my brokenness with a friend. I did not tell them my vision, of the gold out of fear they would laugh. My friend posted this to me:

I had to find out more

This is the start of my blog journey.

If I can do this, anyone can!

Feel free to join me, comment or get in touch.

Strangers are friends I haven’t met yet.


See you soon,

Steven Alexander<><

The Motivation and Mindset Life Coach


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