Toxic TaT! Together Against Toxic.

Welcome.

toxic
/ˈtɒksɪk/
adjective
  1. 1.
    poisonous.
    “the dumping of toxic waste”
    synonyms: poisonousvenomousvirulentnoxiousdangerousdestructiveharmfulunsafemalignantinjuriouspestilentialperniciousenvironmentally unfriendly;

Today’s topic is about the toxic “stuff” in our lives. Do you have anything toxic you want or need to get rid of.

Toxic

What does that word mean to you, if anything?

This is a subject I wanted to talk about a while back, but was something I was struggling with myself.

Reading a few other peoples blogs however, this word keeps cropping up time and time again.

As a fan of quotes, I wanted to insert, a phrase I seem to be hearing a lot:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results” – I am not sure if I agree with this!

I think there are occasions in life where if you are persistent or persevere long enough, you can get a different result – not everyone will agree.

I have been thinking a lot about life recently, and I would love to get rid of the toxic things in my life. By toxic, I mean the things that either make my life hard or that I would be better without i.e not good for me, unhealthy, distractions, harmful etc.

In order to do this, I had to write a list of the so called “toxic” things in my life.

So these were a mixture of:

Thoughts….some times I can hold on to negative things that have been said to me or about me..this makes me sad, doubt myself and feel like, (fill in your own word) I no longer want to let those things or people have power over me.

Words…sometimes I can be filled with hate, or contempt for another. My own bitterness can cause toxicity. I do not want to be like that even if I do it in self preservation or protection, it’s not who I am. My words can be cruel and can hurt because I am hurting.

A phrase I heard recently rings true for me “hurt people – hurt people”

People.. Sometimes we need to realise who the toxic people are in our lives and how best to deal with them in a way that we are not victims or that they have authority over us.

Sometimes people may not realise the affect they have on us, even when well intention-ed, and often these can be those closest to us. In their well intentions, they can still hurt thinking they know what’s best for us.

The most damaging phrase I had say to me was.. “I am saying this in love”

The word “love” itself has become toxic to me, and means things I would rather not go into. Some of you out there may be able to relate to what I’m saying.

Actions… This section is harder to write for me as it means being honest and vulnerable, but self harm is a huge thing for me. Most people may think self harm is cutting, but there is so much more to this.

Food for me is my thing, as I feel it’ s possibly the one thing I can control, so it means if I am in a bad place I will either over indulge or not eat.

Neglect of myself is another area I can often suffer from..

While depression can be a part of me I live with, I have to fight hard for it not to control me. This is a hard battle!

Some of my mindset has come from the damaging words and actions which have sunk in deep or play on repeat in my head.

Today I choose not to let ghosts of people past have that authority over me.

In essence toxic can be anything in our life which is not good for us.

I am not saying it is easy to change and sometimes we need very drastic things to happen to get us to that point.

Don’t be afraid to get help.

Maybe if you are fed up and seeking a change, perhaps now is the time!

Let’s do this toxic journey together.

Let’s make today be the start of a new life, new start, no more toxic!

Life can be sweeter! Sweet things can “grow on trees” and yes I have tasted from this tree of life, and it was good!

Peace be with you.

A tree containing lots of sweets

Money does not grow on trees but sweets do

centre parcs

If you would like to talk about anything toxic in your life, please..

do get in touch. or 

Find me on Face Book. 

Come visit again soon,

Steven Alexander

                                                         “Aim high – Aim higher”

 

5 Comments on “Toxic TaT! Together Against Toxic.”

  1. That’s a great post! “Hurt people- hurt people”, that’s so true! I can completely correlate to this.

    • It sounds a harsh statement to make right, but as someone whoose spent many years hurt, and the sad thing is because i had oppressed it and buried it i wasnt aware it was there however these things seap out and i was hurting others myself. Its only now and recently since i started my kintsugi journey did i discover how deep. Sometimes you dont get a second chance to make a first impression however sometimes we are given the gift of grace and chances to repair even the most damaged bridges. I love what you write. Hope you keep it up

      • Your each and every word is true! When we start hiding our pain and emotions, they start floating out and ruin everything in the floods. I know, sometimes it is not even possible to make others understand, so we have to bury our feelings !! But what matters the most is … realisation! Once we realise that we ourselves have been hurting someone, we become more beautiful, strong and pious. I’m glad you shared all that with me. May I ask you the reason… what made you feel hurt!? That’s so sad to know… But, keep writing!! And thank you for the appreciation!

      • hi. In my blogs it is my hope that i can encourage people to be open. My blogs are my own insecurities and vulnerabilities turned around in the hope that some day, some way others can find encouragement and hope – then for me, if it is just one persons life changed for the better, all my work has been worth it, for who knows what that person will become, or go on to inspire.

        so hurt wise…. my hurt comes from different forms of abuse which I have never talked to anyone or shared and just carried…
        These have been physical abuse,
        mental abuse,
        financial abuse,
        and spiritual abuse.

        Although some of these had stopped by the time I was an adult, it has taken many years to let these out.
        I am not sharing now out of sympathy, or empathy or attention, it is simply to allow me to heal from these things as they caused more damage than I realised.
        If one is soulful – then spiritual abuse is very damaging.
        Financial abuse – I suppose to some degree I have been guilty of doing this to others without consciously realising what I was doing or the affect I had on others whilst doing this.
        People often have a wrong misconception of me simply because I choose to show what I choose. They do not know my back story, or my fights and struggles, just as I may not know theirs.
        I have self harmed and can still do as my way of dealing with high intensity stress or emotions.
        I hope this answers your question. My “dadsdiary site” has now closed down as I changed the name..
        If you want to chat further on any of the above issues feel free to email me at refinersway@gmail.com

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